The winds of change are blowing...

I think that I've talked about this before... in fact, I know that I did.  I wrote about people changing (and argued that they do, and that I did).  Now I am going to write about the other side of the coin so-to-speak, the part where we, humans, society, (or what have you) aren't always open to change.  In fact, that is putting it lightly.  People (or so it would appear to me) generally abhor change.

But why?  What is it about change that makes us crazy?  I changed my blog formatting for example (and I will totally admit that it is making me uncomfortable).  It is something simple and in the big scheme of things not at all important, and yet, discomfort, uncertainty, and maybe even some anxiety are creeping in.  Now magnify that by about a billion and we are getting to the heart of it.  Change in people's lives is a HUGE deal.  Change at work, change at home, change in your relationships, change in the economy, change on a GLOBAL scale.  And I hate to break it to you, but the changes are just going to keep coming, faster and more 'furious' than ever before. 

So how do we cope with all of this change?  Well, the first thing I am going to say is that to resist change is futile (more about futility, I know!)  Resisting isn't going to stop the inevitable and in fact will only delay your acceptance of it, leaving you 'behind the 8 ball' as you attempt to reconcile the change(s) once you have finally accepted them.

If we aren't resisting change, what are we doing then?  The feelings I described above are real... they exist and I would even say they are warranted.  I am not saying 'don't feel that way' or 'suck it up princess' or 'would you like some cheese to go with that whine' (or any other silly cliche for that matter).  What I am trying to get at is how do we acknowledge those feelings and then move beyond them. 

This is the part where I have you waiting on the edge of your seat right?  You are fully expecting me to have the answer and share it with you, yes? 

The truth is, I am still trying to sort it out myself.  I feel like saying, 'All that I know for sure is that I don't know' (!).  Not helpful, I know.  But I guess it begins with awareness and 'shedding light' on the situation. 

Here is what I am proposing... the next time that you see the above sign (metaphorically people, stay with me!), I would encourage you to follow these principles:

1. Don't hit the panic button!  And I know that you know exactly what I'm talking about!  Another way to think of this step is to BLINK AND BREATHE!  Pause, delay, in orther words do whatever it takes to 'stall' your instinctive reaction (it's just your ego rearing its ugly head).  Stalling will allow you the time to get into your heart instead - where your intuition lives...
2. Notice, shine the light on, bring awareness to what is coming up for you: what emotions are you feeling and where do you feel them in your body.  Now here is the tricky part... You actually need to feel them... breathe into them.  A wise friend of mine helped me to see that during this step walking outside and being in nature helps.  The physical movement actually helps to move those emotions through and out of the body.  Sounds simple (and obvious) but it works!  Even better if you can do this with a great friend who will listen to you but not enable you to stay in those feelings for too long.
3. Now that you have acknowledged and released the feelings and emotions associated with the 'change' that you are fearing, you should feel lighter... like there is now some 'space' in the body/mind to look at the situation in a new way.  Now you are ready to allow the change... and yes, even accept it.

 

The winds of change are eternally blowing, and yes, the wind might even be picking up in your corner of the world.  The choice is yours, continue to resist or figure out how to integrate, accept and maybe even thrive on change. 

I know what I'm picking, do you?

Marebare

Thou Shalt Not Covet

No, I am not about to launch into a sermon or anything like that, and NO, of course I am not coveting my neighbour's spouse (ew), however the title for this entry is very fitting and here's why...  Remember a few weeks ago when I was talking about my unhealthy attachment to things?  Well, I have been working really hard at trying to get past this issue, in fact, I have been thinking about it so much that you could even say that I have been obsessing about it (not coveting, obsessing... and yes, they're different).  This obsession has led me to having fantastical thoughts.  In these thoughts, I have been trying to imagine a world where people truly aren't attached to any material thing.  Now this notion might sound completely ridiculous to most of us living in Western society, however there are cultures in this world who actually practice this type of lifestyle.  In particular, I am thinking about the various groups of Buddhist monks who live around the world, but particularly those in Asia.  About eight years ago, I took a course in University in which I studied Buddhist culture and all I remember feeling was ENVY (yes, yet another sin).  I guess what I am trying to say is that that I have been attracted to a simpler lifestyle for quite some time now.  In fact, part of me has always fantasized about running off to live in some ashram in India, however since those fantasies have come into being, I have been with my now-husband (then-boyfriend) Trent, and for those of you who know Trent... well, let's just say that wouldn't have gone over very well.  So, I guess you could say that I chose love over my fantasies of living in extreme simplicity.  And now, well, I continue to choose my family over that same level of simplicity.  I guess what I am saying is that I am trying to find ways in my current life in which I can try to practice some of the values that I continue to find myself so attracted to.

Here is an example.  Look around your house.  How many objects can you see that you are not using to their fullest potential?  Here are some ways to think about this question:

• Have you used the object in the last day, week, month, year?
• Maybe it is an object that you used once or twice but likely won't again (book, dvd, etc.)
• When do you think that you might use that object again?  Could someone else be using it or enjoying it in the meantime?
• Ask yourself the 'whys' behind the 'stuff' in your house.  Why do I have that?  Why am I keeping that?  Why did I buy that? 

For instance, from where I am sitting right now, I can see a whole bunch of books that I absolutely loved reading.  So, in my way of thinking, shouldn't I try to pass them along to someone else that I think might also enjoy them?  I am not saying that I should put all of my books in a bag and drop them off at the thrift store, but maybe I could pick a few each week to 'gift' to friends or family who I think might enjoy them.  Books are an easy one, and I actually have been doing this for some time now, but how many books are you hanging onto because you 'loved' them?  I say, if you love them, share the LOVE!

Okay, another example.  Baby stuff.  As you know, Trent and I have one baby, and are still thinking of having maybe one more, but I had a whole pile of stuff sitting in my basement not being used.  This makes me totally crazy, so, I farmed it out to my friends who have babies.  Am I worried about what would happen if I had another one?  No, because in my way of thinking, people will just keep paying it forward and we'll either end up with some of the same stuff or maybe even different stuff.  After all, it is just that: 'stuff'.  And 'stuff' isn't as important as people, or the relationships that you have with them.  Oh, and giving 'stuff' to people and sharing the wealth that you have with others actually improves the way that you feel about yourself in the world.  And no, I am not exaggerating. 

Okay, now for the realistic side of my brain to speak.  I know that the above notions aren't going to work for everyone.  With my ridiculous fantastical notions of the above utopian lifestyle, I hope you know that I am trying to make a reasonable point.  The point is this: if you're not using it, find someone who will, and if you don't need to buy it, don't.  If it helps, try to think of all of your 'objects' as little people who need good 'homes' (as long as this doesn't automatically increase your attachment to them!)

I think that it is in our human nature to covet the objects that we have spent our hard-earned money on.  I will readily admit that there are definitely objects in my house that I am still 'attached' to.  But these are objects that I use (and love) everyday, and that I get a great deal of use out of. 

These are some of my thoughts (and fantasies) of late.  I have had a lot of time to think lately as I have been in bed with the flu for the past few days so I apologize for the lack of writing.  You can expect me to post more regularly this week!

“Covet wealth, and want it; don't, and luck will grant it” - Chinese Proverb

Marebare :)