Less is More

Close your eyes and imagine this.  No wait.  Open them.  Open your eyes!  You have to keep them open to follow along with my vision!  Sigh.  Let me start again.

Imagine yourself waking up to a stunningly beautiful day in February.  No, you haven’t been miraculously transported to a faraway land, you are still in the midst of winter in Alberta (or whatever cold climate you are imagining), but today is different.  The sun is shining, the snow is sparkling like a blanket of diamonds and you check the local forecast -- they are calling for a 5 degree day!  In FEBRUARY!  (That is like 40 degrees Farenheit for all of you Americans), which isn’t that warm but hey, in February, 5 degrees feels like a mid-summer’s day!  Anyway.  You get the idea.  It is a beautiful day.  An unexpectedly beautiful day, in the middle of a long cold winter.  A GIFT.  

Not the day in question, but you get the idea...

Now, imagine how you would like to spend that day.  You would surely go outside, maybe even sit on your deck and enjoy a cold beverage.  (Judge not ye warm climate people, a warm, sunny winter’s day definitely calls for a few cold ones).  

We just happened to have one of these days this past winter.  And do you want to know how I spent it?  Inside.  Moving and sorting through stuff.  (Can you sense my complete and utter disdain for this situation?)  

Yes, you read correctly, I spent what was without a doubt the nicest day of the winter dealing with my belongings.  Ohhhhhh how I wished for my van-living days right then.  When life was much simpler and our belongings consisted of a few bins of mouse-chewed on clothes and some outdoor gear.  

One of the vans we lived in -- this one's a '79

It was all I could do but take the entire contents of the trucks we were driving and not drive straight to the dump.  I mean honestly.  We have everything that we need already (the stuff that we moved in December, remember?), so what is all of this crap?  Well, you know the kind of stuff I am talking about.  The seasonal ‘gear’, the old University books/notes, the outgrown kids toys/clothes, that box of stuff that you inherited from your great aunt but you aren’t quite sure what to do with it.  

Most of us have this problem - the problem of too much stuff.  If you don’t have this problem than I applaud you.  I take my hat off to you, not only because you would’ve spent the day enjoying some cold ones, but because you will have undoubtedly mastered the fundamental truth that ‘less is truly more’.  We don’t need all of that stuff.  Truth is, we don’t even need most of that stuff that we think we need.  We could all do with a little, no, a lot less stuff.

It's not just me that thinks that either.  Check out this awesome video about stuff on TED Talks:

So look around.  What do you truly need?  I would say that if it isn’t truly beautiful, meaningful or useful than get rid of it.  What are you willing to live without?  What kind of space are you ready to open up in your life?  Remember, when something leaves your life, it opens up the space for something new to come in.  And I’m not talking about that cute new what-ever-it-is that you spotted at the mall either.

Here's to the fundamental truth that LESS TRULY IS MORE!  And the next time we have a 5 degree day in February, you know where I'll be!

Marebare xoxo

PS -- Believe it or not, I actually spent yesterday moving more (yes, MORE) stuff.  You can bet that most of that stuff is moving on out!  

Groundhog Day

I have been trying to formulate this post in my head for over a week now, and it is ironic that it happens to be coming to fruition on Groundhog Day.  You see, I spent last week in Mexico.  We went there for the wedding of some dear friends of ours and our group (42 of us) stayed at an all-inclusive in Nuevo Vallarta.

The Happy Couple

First of all, let me just say that the wedding was fantastic, absolutely beautiful.  The bride and groom are so perfect for one another and deserve all of the happiness in the world.  It was definitely one of those weddings where you 'just know' that it's the real deal.  It also brought up a lot of happy memories for me, as Trent and I got married (almost 8 years ago!) at an all-inclusive resort in Costa Rica.  Given that the past year has been a bit of a tricky one for us (there is merit in the '7 year curse', I swear!), it was a great time for us to remember our wedding day and to re-affirm our commitment to one another.  We left Chephren at home with my parents, so it really was a nice trip for us to reconnect.

Our wedding in Costa Rica: March 2004

Now, with all of that being said, did staying in an all-inclusive resort ever PUSH MY BUTTONS!!!!  The irony of this fact is not beyond me and I spent a lot of time reflecting on the fact that Trent and I also chose an all-inclusive resort for our wedding.  We had 30 people along for the ride which made us feel so very grateful and honored and it was a really, really fun week.  It helped that we finished off the trip with a 3-month long honeymoon travelling in Central America.  It was definitely a trip that I will never forget.   

Happy in Honduras

The funny thing is, I can't put my finger on what exactly bugged me about our resort experience.  It was a very nice resort; very clean, nice amenities, great view of the ocean from our balcony (we saw dophins!), nice beach and a great group of people.  And while I did enjoy parts of the trip (especially the company), I couldn't help but feel that something wasn't right.  To be honest, I am still trying to work it out in my head.  Here are some theories:

Our room

1. Guilt.  Guilt.  Guilt.  Over what?  Well, the list is long, but here are some of the things on my list:

• The tremendous disparity of wealth between us and the workers at the resort (I made a point to talk to a lot of them and find out their stories - how much they made, who they were supporting, where they lived, etc.  I was reassured by many, many Mexicans that working at the resort was considered a good job). 
• Travelling without Chephren (okay, I don't think that is it... It is my belief that a week away for mom and dad is more than okay and even healthy for the marriage).  Plus, he was with his Grammy and his Grampy and I am pretty sure that he likes them more than us anyways.
• Excess (too many drinks, too much food, and oh, did I say too much DRINKING?!)  You feel guilty if you don't eat/drink yourself silly... after all, you paid for it, right?  This kind of mentality made both Trent and I crazy.  I feel the same way about buffets... they create all kinds of unhealthy eating habits and behaviors.  Actually, this reminds me of going to a buffet with a good friend of mine long ago.  He was determined to 'get his money's worth' and therefore made it his mission to not only eat as much as he could -- but also to eat only the most expensive things at the buffet.  Dude polished off about 30 crab legs... There really is such a thing as too much of a good thing!!!

2. My second theory is that it has something to do with the fact that I was yearning for a 'real' adventure.  I say this because Trent and I invested a lot of time and energy trying to figure out how to get off the resort.  We wanted to ride the local buses, eat at some sketchy restaurants and check out some of the cool little surf towns in the area.  We did do some exploring of the area, and other than the wedding, I would have to say that these were my favorite experiences of the trip.  Trent and I did our fair share of travelling before we had Chephren (okay, let's be honest, it was more like 'dirtbagging' than travelling) and there is a huge part of me that is craving this lifestyle again.  I love the uncertainty and the challenges associated with this lifestyle and we gave it all up to have a family.  The question we were asking ourselves in Mexico was: was that really necessary?  There are families out there who are managing to maintain the dirtbagging lifestyle even with small children.  Either way, it was good to get us talking about it and has helped us to identify how much we miss our 'old life'. 

3. Finally, and this is kind of related to the 2nd reason, the resort ended up feeling like 'Groundhog Day' to me (the Bill Murray movie I mean).  Not at first, but by day three you are thinking, really?  Again?  The same food, the same faces, the same activities, the same, same, same.  As an adult living with ADD, Groundhog Day is something that gives me nightmares...

So, that's it then.  I wish that I could leave you with some glowing nugget of wisdom or some heart warming realization that I have come to.  I am sure that it will eventually lead to this kind of epiphany, but I'm not there yet.  And since it's Groundhog Day (for real), I thought maybe I would throw it out to the Universe to deal with.  Anyone have any brilliant insights?

May your days be filled with peace, love and VARIETY!

xoxo

Marebare

To Scrooge or Not to Scrooge... that is the question!

My denial is officially over.  After spending the first part of the month soaking up the sun, followed directly by a long weekend with my husband home, things are back to 'normal' around here.  And by normal I mean that it is a blustery freezing cold day outside (probably somewhere around -20 or -25 with the windchill) and the roads are icy and dangerous all over again... YAY WINTER! 

Actually, it's not so bad.  I am sitting in front of a warm fire, editing pictures from our trip and drinking a nice warm cup of tea while Chephren naps.  So, I guess winter isn't the worst thing in the world.  If I am being honest, the real reason that I am feeling jaded today has to do with Christmas... the holiday that started it all (no pun intended). 

If you recall (you probably don't so I will remind you), last Christmas was a crisis-like experience for me... one that drove me to starting this project actually.  For years now I have struggled with the extreme excess that is often associated with this holiday and of course, all of the WASTE that it generates.  Plus, it is often back-breakingly expensive.  Anyway, I won't rant about it too much here (I don't want to seem too scroogy), but I will tell you that my family has come up with a solution that pretty much no one except my dad and I are happy with (I think that this means that we are taking some serious liberties by calling it a 'solution', but anyway, it's what we're doing!)

Not me by the way, but she is accurately depicting my previous Christmas emotions!

Our previous tradition involved opening stockings (often filled with a heck of a lot more than toothpaste and mandarin oranges), followed by a huge breakfast, followed by you guessed it, more presents.  The whole ordeal would take us all morning and often into the early afternoon.  The end result was bags and bags (and bags) of garbage and each of us leaving with a clothesbasket (or bigger) filled with new things.  Now, I don't want to sound ungrateful, but don't you think that this is a bit excessive?  My husband and I are independent adults (I was going to say mature, but who am I kidding?), who really don't NEED anything anymore.  In fact, everyone in my family is an adult now (except for Chephren, but he doesn't need that much stuff either), and I would venture to say that not one of us needs that much new stuff.

Not our presents really, but you get the idea

So, this year we are holding it to stockings alone, with a spending limit of $50 on each person.  My own personal rule is no new stuff, but handmade stuff is okay (but I guess you saw that one coming didn't you). 

So, while it is not the perfect solution for me, nor is everyone else particularly fond of the new rules, it is what we are going with for now.  I get that change is hard, but I am convinced that this one is a change for the better.  I just hope that my family can ride this one out with/for me and stick to the rules!  And people wonder why I like Halloween so much better...

This was this past Halloween: Momma and Baby Dragon/Dinosaurs



Here is to the start of a new (and reformed) holiday season!

Marebare

(PS: If you have similar stories/suggestions/strategies to share, I'd love to hear them!)

An Interesting Dialogue...

As you know, I have been encouraging any readers out there to write me with any feedback/insights/opinions etc.  Well, today I received a very interesting comment posted to the blog that is more than worthy of opening a dialogue...

Cheryle writes:
I must say, good for you Maren, for pursuing this interesting goal! Life is way too short, and I feel it is imperative to do what you must in order to be happy and enjoy every single day on this planet.



Do you ever feel sometimes though... and I mean no disrespect whatsoever by tabling this, it's just something that I have struggled with for years... that society and the world in general is on a progressively downward spiral... and that a single person's positive, well-intended efforts, while totally admirable, are mostly futile? That's the biggest challenge I face, when it comes to me personally dialoguing with myself about 'living with less'. I am a responsible, hard-working adult with no serious accountability to anyone but myself (ie no kids, no husband, no pets, not even a houseplant!). If I want to buy something or travel somewhere, I just do. I have a hard time justifying denying myself the things I like, especially since I am a healthy, educated, tax-paying, contributing member of society. Now, you know how Todd and I live - and it's definitely not to excess. But we certainly do not go without... meaning that we each have the usual material possessions (a house - small, and a vehicle - economical) and we make the most of our vacation days every year. And yes, we also eat ALOT of meat (which we actually buy from a local organic farmer, and overall it is MUCH cheaper, not to mention healthier, than buying from a grocery store). Truthfully, I don't feel bad about my lifestyle.


I'm not saying that I agree with wasting non-renewable resources, and just dumping garbage freely, and not recycling or anything like that... we are humans, with cognitive ability, not animals... But the reason I have a job is so that I can live life to what my version of 'its fullest' is. I am curious to know if you ever feel torn? Because really (and this is merely my opinion - like I said, I've struggled with this for years), unless someone is going to move somewhere and 100% live 'off the grid'... like almost completely disappear... we are all negatively impacting the earth, whether we like it or not.


Your thoughts?

See?  Great insights and questions!  I only hope that I can be half as concise in trying to respond. 

In response to the issue of a single person's actions being mostly futile - to some point I agree... and it can be maddening to work so hard at something, and have others efforts practically reverse your efforts right in front of your eyes!  Let's take recycling for instance.  Every other week, us country dwellers have the privilege (not) of frequenting our local neighbourhood waste transfer station.  Week after week, I bring my carefully sorted and cleaned recycling materials in blue bags only to put them on top of bag after bag filled with recycling that is ALL SCREWED UP (and manky, and stinky, and... well, you get the picture)!  Honestly people!  An extra 5 minutes here and there and you could do it right too!!!  So, yes, when I watch my beautifully sorted bags go right in there with the disgusting ones, I will admit that it does make me a little crazy.  However, the way that I look at it is this: just because those idiots choose to do it that way, doesn't mean that I have to, especially when it is an act that requires virtually no skill, money or effort to do correctly. 

As for the rest of your comments, I think that I need to be more clear about something.  There are three reasons that I started down this road: 1) to save money, 2) to try and reduce my spending to only those products that we actually need and 3) to reduce my environmental impact by doing so.  In other words, #3 is more of a bonus side-effect of committing to #1 and #2.  I also should clarify what sent me over the edge and started all of this as well:  EXCESS.  Now that I am a mother, it has really caused me to try and see the world from Chephren's eyes, and I realize how much impact that I have on what he sees.  I feel that if Chephren sees his mom and dad being happy with what they have and spending their money responsibly and efficiently, then he will come to value these lifestyle practices as well.  When I look around at other children out there, we have started them on the path to excessive greed and consumerism practically from birth.  Now, I am not saying that I want Chephren to 'suffer' or anything, in fact it is quite the opposite.  Like any parent, I want Chephren to have the things that he enjoys and will make him happy, however, I also want him to find more value in people and experiences than in the material world.  So, if I truly want these things for Chephren, I needed to start leading by example, which is really what I am trying to do.  So no, I don't think that my actions will impact a huge number of people, but if they impact my son, than I do consider that a huge benefit.

Now comes the part where I deep-sea dive off of my large and over-bearing pedestal and qualify all of the above statements.  Trent and I aren't undergoing any major life changes here, not really.  We are not living off the grid (at all!) and still use natural gas and electricity to heat/run our home.  I drive a fairly large gas-guzzling vehicle and regularly fill it up and take it in for oil changes and other maintenance.  We are still planning on taking vacations, as we always have and still love to do, but this year (at least) we will just take less of them.  We are also going to be building a house in Nordegg this summer - also a huge expense and not high on the list of things we could do to save the natural environment!  I guess what I am trying to say is this:  NO, I am certainly not perfect, and I could even give you the names of several of my friends who are doing it better than me.  BUT, I do feel that for me, personally at least, the changes that we are making (however small), are improving not only our quality of life, but have given us a sense of purpose and a new-found resolve to meet the challenges that we have set for ourselves.  Frankly, I can also tell you that in one year, when the challenge is 'up', our future lifestyle will probably fall somewhere in the middle between the way we were living before and the way we will be living for the next year.  Even at this early stage, I can begin to see which new behaviours will be here to stay and which ones probably won't make sense for us in the long-term. 
So Cheryle, I would say 'you go girl' when it comes to living your life in the way that you are choosing to do so.  If the choices that you and Todd make are the choices that are making you happy, than you are truly living your life authentically (which is far more than I can say for a very large majority of people in our society).  In fact, the lifestyle that you and Todd lead is one that Trent and I have often envied - who wouldn't want to take the kind of trips that you guys take, and do the kind of rad stuff that you guys do?  I truly admire you for following your dreams and living each day to the fullest.
 
Thank you so much for your comments - and I hope that you don't mind that I highlighted them in this blog entry.  I really do feel like they were a great way to get a dialogue going, and I would even say that this has helped me to clarify some of my own feelings on some of the 'heavier' stuff.
 
Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. ~Confucius (Who Me?!)
 
And tomorrow is another day :)
Marebear