Days 14 - 24 (December 23 - Jan 1)

In the last week, Trent and I not only celebrated Christmas with all of our families and joined the masses in the overindulgence of food, drink and *stuff*, we actually managed to move.  Yes, you heard me right... I said move.  We have been in the process for a few weeks now, but on Boxing Day (Dec 26th), we made it official and moved all of the 'big stuff' - making it possible for us to stay in our new-to-us house for the first time.  I can hear you laughing about that from here... and yes, I know we are crazy.

Despite the move, and all of the Christmas/New Years insanity, I still managed to spend some time each and every day reflecting on the gifts that I was receiving.  After all 'tis the season of giving, which means that it was extra easy to receive.  Before I launch into 'the list' (I will try to be brief, I promise), I just wanted to reflect briefly on the idea of receiving in general.  What I have come to realize (through this project and through some other literature that I have been reading), is that the act of receiving gifts from someone (or the Universe) is as important as the act of giving them.  This might sound obvious to you, but I had never thought of it that way before.  A lot of people are uncomfortable with receiving gifts, my (previous) self included, and will actually reject them.  Bear in mind that when I am talking about 'gifts' I am talking in a general sense - sure tangible gifts count, but think about things like compliments, acts of service, or even LOVE.  Oddly enough, some of those people who cannot bring themselves to authentically receive gifts of any kind are the same people who are so darn good at giving gifts themselves.  You see, receiving involves being vulnerable, in that you are willing to show the giver your soft underbelly -- true gratitude.  A lot of people really struggle with this and for a variety of reasons.  For me, looking back, I think that part of the problem was a self-worth issue -- I didn't feel worthy/deserving of receiving.  Now that I can see the situation a bit more clearly, I can see how hurtful it would be to a giver if I couldn't authentically receive the gift they were giving me (for me, compliments really come to mind, as do acts of service).  A gift that isn't authentically received isn't much of a gift at all now is it?

Anyway, it is early in the New Year (it's 2012!) and my brain already hurts from all of the evolving it has been up to, so without further ado, here is my list of gifts from the past 10 days or so:

Day 14: My friend Jill brought her two girls over and helped me pack up and move most of my kitchen.  Talk about making an unpleasant experience a fun one.  Thank you Jill for this extremely kind and generous act of service!

Day 15: Time with some of my best friends: J and Jody - they had just gotten back from their 3 month honeymoon in Nepal/Thailand and it was the first time that I had seen them.  So happy that they are home safe and that they had an amazing time.  They also brought me some truly amazing gifts and I am already treasuring them dearly!

Day 16: Christmas Eve.  We actually went around the table before dinner on this night and shared what we were grateful for this year.  It was amazing and I am grateful for the fact that my family is so in touch with gratitude and the importance of it.  I myself was grateful for this new tradition, for the amazing food we had prepared (Indian food - YUM!), for my brother Erik's new-found health/sobriety and for the chance to come together as a family and celebrate being together.  It was RAD.

Day 17: Christmas Day.  Best gifts of the day?  Watching my son see with HUGE eyes that Santa had eaten all of the cookies and milk (I know, Santa is kind of lame, but I love the magic that he creates for kids), watching my parents open a gift that my husband had made: all.by.himself.!!!!!!  (So, so COOL!) And last but certainly not least, my mom writes us each a Christmas letter every year and I simply adore them.  I mount them on my fridge where I can see them every day for the entire year.  She is/ they are amazing!

Trent's Masterpiece

Day 18: Boxing day, aka moving day.  I moved into a new house today - do gifts get much bigger than that?  This was especially huge for me because it signifies a new beginning for me and for our family.  I went through some tough times out on the farm (which have somehow become associated with living out there - depression/isolation, etc.), so moving 'into town' has been a huge step for me.  Thank you Universe for helping me manifest this move and for helping me to receive this huge, huge gift.

Day 19: This is going to sound ridiculous, but my gift for today was getting up first thing in the morning, realizing that we were out of coffee, running to the store to get it.... and being back in 10 minutes.  I cannot tell you how stoked I am about the significant reduction in driving.  Again, so, so grateful for our move.

Day 20: Many hands make light work.  I'll bet that you were wondering how the heck we managed to move on Boxing Day and who the heck helped us.  Well, you see, I have the best parents in the world (I believe that I may have mentioned that before) -- and they were here for the entire day, giving up their holidays to help us move.  Today we returned the favor and helped them finish the process of moving out of their house at the farm: cleaning, hauling, packing.  More fun for the McHasses (our combined nickname!)... actually, it was fun and I am so grateful that we have had so much help and support.  Many hands truly do make light work.  I will say it again (if I have to): communal living ROCKS! (By the way, they now live about 1.5 miles North of us -- not next door, but pretty close!)

Day 21: After all that hard work, it was time to celebrate.  We had some great friends over tonight: Mark, Megan-Joy and Catherine, and we ate great food, drank wine and played games.  It was super fun and just what we needed (and more!) after such a loooong week of moving!

Day 22: More family and friends.  Today we spent some time with Trent's mom, sister and her family.  It was so great to watch Chephren play with his cousins!  Then, in the evening, we had more friends for dinner, Bridget, Richard and their son Brady.  Chephren is really starting to get 'friendship' and proceeded to prepare his toys for sharing before Brady arrived and then played really well with him.  This is no small feat for a little guy (sharing is hard) and it is awesome to see it happen!

Day 23: New Years Eve.  What a peaceful way to bring in the New Year.  Our friends J and Jody stayed with us and we had my family for dinner.  J, Jody, Trent and I quietly brought in the New Year snuggled on the couch in front of the fire, visiting and watching a movie.  It was perfect!

Day 24: New Years Day.  I managed to steal a few minutes to myself today to reflect on and be grateful for the past year as well as to set my intentions for the year 2012.  Today is probably one of my favorite days of the year.  I love the opportunity for reflection and the anticipation of the year to come.  2012 is the year of the Dragon (TRANSFORMATION) - may we all be transformed into better versions of ourselves filled with light and love!  And may we all be open and ready to receive each and every day!!!!

Happy 2012!

Marebare xoxo

Week 2: Days 7-13

Day 7: Brad the Shaman

Yes, I see a Shaman and by the way he is AMAZING!  I had a session with him yesterday at Unique Perceptions in Spruce Grove, which was a real unexpected treat as he had moved away to Victoria this summer.  Due to some unforeseen circumstances, Brad found himself back in the area and I jumped at the chance to see him again.  Each and every time I see Brad a get some powerful insights about my life and about my spiritual evolution and path.  He will often do energy work on me as well as some journeying which I find to be super insightful.  The session also helped me to integrate and make sense of a lot of the experiences that I had in Nordegg.  Thank you Brad for the selfless work you do and for committing your life to one of SERVICE.  I am humbled and grateful.

Day 8: Eoin Finn's Vinyasa Earth Puja & Shane Philip

Back in October, I had committed to a weekend yoga workshop at Lion's Breath Yoga with Eoin Finn.  Then, when I found out that we were moving this month I went back and forth (and back and forth) about the decision to cancel my registration or not to cancel my registration.  After much deliberation, I decided that I needed to go.  And WOW, am I ever glad that I did!  It was a great workshop that ran both Friday night and Saturday during the day.  Friday night (and Day 8 of my project) was especially blissful.  We discussed a 'branch' of yoga philosophy that totally resonated with me and moved, flowed, sweated, meditated and shared energy with one purpose in mind: Puja (or offering) to Mother Earth.  It was magical.  Then, on my long trek home on the dark, winter roads, I CRANKED Shane Philip's EarthShake album and ROCKED OUT!  By the time I got home I was so full of bliss that I literally could not keep it from flowing out of me!  (Not that I would want to hog it all to myself anyway!)  The real gift or lesson here? (apart from these two amazing beings who helped me to make this happen)  Knowing that by filling my OWN cup, I can help to fill the cups of everyone around me!  Thank you Eoin and Shane :)

 










Day 9: My parents

EcoCatLady said it best: "I also think you should consider yourself extremely lucky to have parents that you actually WANT to be near".  Isn't that the TRUTH?  If you have been following along of late, you will know that my parents have made the move off the farm into town.  We now live about a 20 minute drive from each other... and after living next door to them for 6 years I have to say that it feels like an ETERNITY away!  Much too far.  Luckily it is only for a very short time.  We will be about a 2 minute drive away from them in only about a week's time, when we finally make the move into town.  What's so great about them?  Um, EVERYTHING?!  They are our best friends!  They are so much fun to hang out with, they are super loving, accepting and helpful, they treat Chephren as if he was their own child (in a good way!), and make our lives better in every possible way.  Do I know that we are beyond fortunate to enjoy this type of relationship with them?  Absolutely.  Do I say it enough?  No.  So, mom and dad/grammy and grampy: THANK YOU from the botton of my heart and soul.  I love and appreciate you to the moon and BACK! 

Day 10: The PURGE begins

I have discovered something about myself... I actually like to get rid of stuff even more than I like to receive it.  Hmmmm.... Since this is a blog about receiving gifts... do you think that my gift for today can be getting rid of my excess?  How is that for a mind-bending thought?

Day 11: Depression day

For the first time in this project, I had to work hard to see the gift in anything today.  I mentioned in an earlier post that I have been battling with depression for most of my adult life (but especially since having a child) and I still have some 'dark days'.  Today was one of those days.  The gift of this is that it literally only lasted one day... I have such a good handle on what my depression looks like, feels like and where it's going that I can actually take myself out of the downward spiral before it even begins. 
Day 12: You're not going to believe what I did today

Today I feel grateful that it isn't yesterday :)  Is that allowed?  I don't care because it's true.  Aside from the gift of a new day, I received a lot of other gifts today.  This (even to me) sounds a bit odd, given the fact that I was out Christmas shopping and buying gifts for other people instead of the other way around.  I should start off by saying that I don't normally do this (like, pretty much ever).  I generally don't 'do malls', I try not to 'do consumerism' and I prefer it that way.  Normally, I handmake most of my gifts and/or support local farmers/artisans and buy all things handmade and local.  At the very least, I try to stay out of the big shops and buy from all of the little businesses in our town.  Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but my goal is to stick within these parameters.  This year, I didn't totally 'blow it': I bought a lot of my gifts in Maui at local craft fairs, and of course, I stocked up at the local potter's guild when I got home, but I definitely had to buy more 'stuff' than usual to finish off my list.  Soooo, today, on December 20th, that meant going to the mall (sigh).  Rather than beat myself up about it (which is totally like me), I decided to phone up my sister and recruit her to help me.  Not only did she help me, but I actually had FUN (shhhhhhhhhh!  Don't tell anyone!)  She is a great gift-buyer (I skill that has always eluded me) and our trip was purposeful, efficient and actually enjoyable.  (I can't believe that I am confessing all of this on a blog that began as a project designed to AVOID SHOPPING ENTIRELY!  I completely understand if you think that I am a sell out and delete me from your reading lists!)  Before you do though, just read this one last thought: What I am really grateful for is the fact that I CAN do this.  I know how very fortunate I am to be able to go and frivolously/freely purchase gifts for my loved ones without even a care in the world.  This is an insanely huge privilege/luxury (aka GIFT) that I do not take for granted.  Thank you Universe for the tremendous amount of ABUNDANCE in my life and may I continue to find new and creative ways of sharing it with others...

Day 13: The Abundance continues, aka the glass is way MORE than half full

I don't know if I have talked about his before, but I have 8 parents.  (Just think, if I were a reality-tv-show star I would be 'octodaughter', oh man, that was a lame one, this time of year must be getting to me!).  I know, I know, you're thinking, 8 parents?  What the heck is this girl talking about?!  So here it is: My biological mom and dad divorced and both re-married (that's 4)... then, I married a man whose biological parents did the same thing (except for his dad, but 'septodaughter' doesn't sound as cool!).  So, Trent and I both have: A mom, a dad, a stepmom, a stepdad, a mother-in-law, a father-in-law, and I have a step-father-in-law and he has a step-mother-in-law.  Plus, Trent's dad does have a partner so it really does make 8.  You with me so far?  Now... close your eyes and picture this... Christmas with 4 DIFFERENT FAMILIES (and all of their families) EVERY.  SINGLE.  YEAR!!!  Did your brain explode?  Mine nearly does.  For 2 weeks of each year, our lives take on a whole new level of crazy.  Don't get me wrong, I love our families, they are wonderful, kind and generous.  Generous being the key word.  Each gathering involves a huge meal at someone's house (or in my aunt's case - she pays for ALL of us to have a nice meal out together because there are too many of us for one house!), and of course, tons and tons of presents.  We have had several gatherings so far this season, and the 'receiving' is well under way.  Again, this is normally something that I REALLY struggle with but this year, I am deciding to reframe it and simply feel grateful for ALL of the gifts I receive.  Thank you, thank you, thank you Universe for blessing me with more loving family members than I know what to do with (and all of the wonderful craziness that goes with it!)

I survived!

No, I haven't been hibernating for the past three weeks... although that wouldn't have been a bad way to spend the month of December.  The real reason for my silence can be summed up with a phrase my mom used to say: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"

Well, I am here to say that I was wrong, for the most part anyways.  And yes, believe it or not, I can be wrong sometimes, just don't tell my husband okay?  You see Christmas of 2009 was what plunged me into the depths of such despair as to provoke me to do something drastic.  You know, drastic, like starting a blog (enter sarcastic tone here).  Seriously though, I was feeling so frustrated with the fact that consumerism was taking over our lives that it managed to plunge me further into my depression... for real.  Despite the fact that the past three weeks have been filled with a sense of foreboding and a dash of dread, I am happy to say that we made it through this Christmas with my emotional sensibilities still in tact - although I did go straight to bed on Christmas at 8 pm and sleep until 10 am the next morning... Yup, it is the 28th of December and I am feeling a-okay.... even after enduring five (yes FIVE) Christmases, straight through from December 22 until December 26. 



How could you be stressed out waking up to this guy everyday!?

To what do I credit my survival?  My friends and family of course!  These are the following strategies that seemed to work at keeping things under control this year (and I share these here because other people have shared similar Christmas anxieties with me):

• My family decided on a spending limit of $50 per person.  Now, I am not exactly certain that my parents kept to this as strictly as I had hoped, but they did turn it down a few notches for sure, which was noticeable and much appreciated!
• For my gifts, I either made or purchased handmade gifts almost exclusively.  Some exceptions included edible gifts or gifts of 'experiences': concert tickets, a dinner out, etc.  For the gifts that weren't handmade (a few Children's books), I purchased them at a local business.  The biggest benefit of this strategy?  NO MALLS!  (Which are the scourge of society in my humble opinion)
• As for the gifts that we received, I am feeling very grateful... most of Chephren's gifts were books and/or puzzles, two things that I really have no problem with (educational toys RULE!).  Chephren also received a handmade touque (thanks Gigi!) and a few beautifully made knit items including a sweater from Ecuador and a touque from Nepal.  Cool!  
• Remembering that the best gifts at Christmas are FREE, well, mostly free anyway!  Cross-country skiing with my parents on Christmas day has been a long-standing tradition and one that I cherish greatly... Other favorites include: My mom's Christmas letters to each of us (I will share some of my letter in a future post because it pertains to the blog).  She writes them every year and we mount them on the fridge to read daily until the next Christmas comes around.  They are always my favorite gift by far.  Spending time with our families (all four of them!), and speaking of family, it was especially fun to watch Chephren 'prepare' for Santa's arrival and come bouncing out in the morning to find the present that he asked for... a donut!  



Tobogganing in Fairmont

• Finally, we did something that we should really do every year when things get a little 'crazy' before Christmas: LEAVE!  We went on a relaxing holiday for a week to the mountains in the 2nd week of December just to chill out, play in the snow and teach Chephren to ski.  It was such a great holiday!



Next up on the horizon is New Years, my favorite holiday of the year by far!  For me, New Years represents the ultimate time to reflect on the past year's triumphs, failures, trials and tribulations.  2010 has been such a positive year of growth for me in so many ways and yet I feel that I have so far yet to go on my journey. 

As for the Marebare Necessities blog?  I have had many inquiries as to its fate in 19 days when the year is up... All I have to say is you will have to stay tuned to find out!

Happy Holidays to each and every one of you and THANK YOU for your support, ideas, feedback and best wishes throughout the past year!

Marebare xoxo






... and then it rolled away...

The ball I mean.  I dropped it and it is now rolling away.  I wonder if I can catch it?  Ok, enough with the metaphors.  What I am referring to is the fact that I had a brain fart.  Thankfully, one of my readers (thank you Cindy) was kind enough to awaken me from my holiday stupor, but alas, it was too late.  As such, I regret to inform you that I am sending out Christmas cards again this year.  (By too late, I mean that they have already been ordered - we send out the picture-card kind).  This is something that we have always done and I didn't even think of it as 'cheating'.  Never mind the fact that they are expensive and TERRIBLE for the environment.  I am such an avid lover of the snail-mail postal system (who doesn't like to get friendly mail, right Tess?) that I didn't even think about the effect that sending out cards in a mass mail-out would have. 

So, my bad.   This got me thinking though... what other 'traditions' was I about to just 'do' without thinking?  One of them is the Christmas Tree.  Now, I love a good Christmas tree: the lights, the smell, the sparkling decorations, I mean, they are a really powerful symbol of the season.  We have always made an effort to buy a local tree (sometimes even taking a half-dead one off our land that was crowding another healthy tree).   Let's just say that I am NOT above a Charlie Brown tree, in fact, I prefer them.

See?  This was Christmas 2006

Anyway, I am committed to making up for my card flub and as such, I have been researching the greenest option for a tree this year.  Here are the choices:

1. Buy a fake tree (no, no never.  They are bad for the environment, they're made of PVC, and they are expensive)
2. Take down another Charlie Brown tree on the farm.
3. Source out a locally grown organic tree farm (there are tons of them out by where I live, and these are apparently a pretty green option b/c they provide housing for birds and clean the air while they are alive and then get replaced by 2-3 more seedlings when they are cut down and sold).  One more thing about this option, if you go this way, it is important to consider the disposal of it... landfills = NOT GREEN, composting, mulching, or sinking it into a local pond = GREEN.  And I am not making this stuff up.  Check it out at: http://www.treehugger.com/files/2004/12/how_to_pick_a_g.php
4. Go treeless (GASP!)

After careful consideration (not really, it was more like, 'Trent, we're going treeless this year', followed by a 'sweet')... oops, I gave the answer away.  Yup, we picked option #4 and have decided to convert our beloved fig tree into a Christmas tree.  I'll post pics as soon as I get it 'decorated'. 

The tradition tides are turning... Do you think that this make up for the Christmas cards?

Marebare

To Scrooge or Not to Scrooge... that is the question!

My denial is officially over.  After spending the first part of the month soaking up the sun, followed directly by a long weekend with my husband home, things are back to 'normal' around here.  And by normal I mean that it is a blustery freezing cold day outside (probably somewhere around -20 or -25 with the windchill) and the roads are icy and dangerous all over again... YAY WINTER! 

Actually, it's not so bad.  I am sitting in front of a warm fire, editing pictures from our trip and drinking a nice warm cup of tea while Chephren naps.  So, I guess winter isn't the worst thing in the world.  If I am being honest, the real reason that I am feeling jaded today has to do with Christmas... the holiday that started it all (no pun intended). 

If you recall (you probably don't so I will remind you), last Christmas was a crisis-like experience for me... one that drove me to starting this project actually.  For years now I have struggled with the extreme excess that is often associated with this holiday and of course, all of the WASTE that it generates.  Plus, it is often back-breakingly expensive.  Anyway, I won't rant about it too much here (I don't want to seem too scroogy), but I will tell you that my family has come up with a solution that pretty much no one except my dad and I are happy with (I think that this means that we are taking some serious liberties by calling it a 'solution', but anyway, it's what we're doing!)

Not me by the way, but she is accurately depicting my previous Christmas emotions!

Our previous tradition involved opening stockings (often filled with a heck of a lot more than toothpaste and mandarin oranges), followed by a huge breakfast, followed by you guessed it, more presents.  The whole ordeal would take us all morning and often into the early afternoon.  The end result was bags and bags (and bags) of garbage and each of us leaving with a clothesbasket (or bigger) filled with new things.  Now, I don't want to sound ungrateful, but don't you think that this is a bit excessive?  My husband and I are independent adults (I was going to say mature, but who am I kidding?), who really don't NEED anything anymore.  In fact, everyone in my family is an adult now (except for Chephren, but he doesn't need that much stuff either), and I would venture to say that not one of us needs that much new stuff.

Not our presents really, but you get the idea

So, this year we are holding it to stockings alone, with a spending limit of $50 on each person.  My own personal rule is no new stuff, but handmade stuff is okay (but I guess you saw that one coming didn't you). 

So, while it is not the perfect solution for me, nor is everyone else particularly fond of the new rules, it is what we are going with for now.  I get that change is hard, but I am convinced that this one is a change for the better.  I just hope that my family can ride this one out with/for me and stick to the rules!  And people wonder why I like Halloween so much better...

This was this past Halloween: Momma and Baby Dragon/Dinosaurs



Here is to the start of a new (and reformed) holiday season!

Marebare

(PS: If you have similar stories/suggestions/strategies to share, I'd love to hear them!)