BREAKING NEWS... or you know, an update

How's about just a general update to start of with? (The breaking news is coming, I promise)

I don't do this very often.  Maybe I should?  I don't know.

What I do know is that while I love to write, like LOVE to write, if I am not "in the flow" than I might as well not even bother.  Seriously, I could sit here all day, looking at the screen, clicking in and out of Facebook and random searches on the internet only to have absolutely nothing to show for it.

In contrast, some days the words just come pouring out of me.  When I am in the flow, writing is truly effortless.  For example, I wrote an article on the plane while en route to a family vacation in Arizona.  Now, it needs to be said that this is not exactly an atmosphere conducive to writing.  Chephren was sitting next to me, wiggling, fidgeting, squirming, snacking, drinking, bathroom-ing as most four year olds do when asked to sit still for 3 hours.  And yet, in between all of those distraction, out came the article.

When I got here I decided to submit it to Elephant Journal...something that I have long told myself I would do.

A week later?  Ta-Da!  Published.  (You can read it here).

What a beautiful and fun creative process.

Today?  Not happening.  Sorry.

So, instead, I am going to post some pics on here.  From our vacation.  How very mommy-blog of me.

Those are coming up soon, but for now, I should also tell you that I am going to be taking down this blog.  

You heard me, MareBare Necessities will soon be no more. 

Don't worry, don't worry.  I am going to still be blogging.  But I am going to be publishing from a new site:  www.marenhasse.com

In the coming weeks, I will be reflecting here on the MareBare Journey, sharing some highlights, and setting the stage for what is to come.

Let's hope that I am gifted with some flow to make it happen!

Thanks for stopping by and I hope you enjoy these pics from the desert...

xoxo M.

Contraction

I have an addiction.

I am addicted to feeling good.  To having lots of energy.  To laughter.  To play.  To the feeling of a light and open heart.

When I feel like this, I feel as if I could do anything.  I feel like I am home.  I feel like I AM all that I can be, or at least well on my way there.

When I don't feel this way, I feel like something is wrong.  I feel like I am broken in some way.  And I resist it.  I fight it.  I struggle against it.

I once heard Marianne Williamson compare the experience of "waking up" to giving birth.

This comparison allowed for powerful imagery within me, allowing me to readily identify with it.  In my journey, I have often found myself heading forward, accelerating towards the light and all of the possibilities that might live there.  This is the part of the journey that I live for, it is what feels good to me.  This forward movement, this expansion, it is what feeds my addiction.

And yet we know that this is not how birthing happens.  No baby just slides its way out into the world in one effortless burst forward--and if it does happen this way, it is a rare occurrence!

Instead, what follows every forward burst, every expansion, is a period of contraction, where the baby actually moves back into the womb, retreating into the dark.

This contraction phase is everything that the expansion phase is not.  It is subtle.  It is quiet.  It is slow.   It represents the "yinside" of life, of the human experience.

According to the Tao, every single thing must fall into balance.  Every.  Single.  Thing.

This means that with every "expansion" that I experience, there MUST be a period of contraction.  Of low energy.  Of tranquility.  Of solitude.

And I am in this phase of contraction, with no where else to be but in it.

I want to stop craving the light, but I haven't.  Not yet anyway.  Wondering if I ever will.

For now, I am learning to be even gentler with myself.  Even softer.  I am looking for ways to honour this phase.  A quiet walk outside in the dark after dinner.  Allowing myself a deep stretch with a yin yoga practice.  Allowing my husband to step in and help out.

Grateful that this too, shall pass.

xoxo M.

What is true today.

Sometimes I am so sick of myself.

Ironic, because I woke up with a desire to write down "Things that I Love about Me"...only to find that Louise Hay posted a similar idea on Facebook this morning.  Now, I am a supreme lover of all things involving synchronicity, but the truth is, today I am not feeling it.

This morning, as I started to make my list, the one thing that came forward was "I love how quickly I can get ready in the morning".  Seriously.  I have mad skills.  I can shower, dress, blow dry and style my hair, moisturize and do my makeup in 15 minutes.  I think that is even faster than Trent.  So yeah, I like that about me.

I can celebrate this small win today, but as for the rest of that list?  It will have to wait until another day.

This journey that I am on, this path that I have chosen, has involved a ton of self-reflection.  I have referred to it as a "journey inwards" and "the path to self-awareness".  Don't get me wrong, it has been an amazing ride, and a wonderful experience, but today?  Today I am so over it.

Today I find that I am tired of analyzing, reflecting, and observing.  I am tired of aspiring, thinking, and growing.

Frankly, I just want to stick my head in the sand for a while.  I simply want to BE.

And maybe I am not supposed to say these things...in fact, I have consciously avoided ever putting anything negative on this blog.  I have been avoiding the truth.  The truth is, sometimes I don't feel like doing "my work".  Sometimes I want to pretend that there isn't any "work" to be done.

And maybe that's ok.  I have had days (haha, ok, weeks) like this before.  Where I wanted to simply step off the road momentarily and take a break.  For some reason, I always seem to get back on, and I am sure that this "break" is no exception.

Now, after re-reading what I just wrote, I have to laugh, because it is actually "work-related".  What I wrote here is truth-based.  And today, I guess that I am willing to go there; to speak a truth that isn't all gushy and rose-colored.

So yeah.  That is what is happening today.

M.

Intentional Lying... this is what is has come down to!

I didn't realize that I had been holding my breath...

Holy SH$T!  He went for it!!!  My son, actually ate it.  And liked it.  It felt like a dream come true.  Like I had won the lottery.

*Disclaimer*
You very well might judge me for what you are about to read...

When Chephren was little he would eat everything.  And I mean everything.  He had an insatiable appetite.

Cute little dude, wasn't he?

And then he turned two.  And he discovered that his locus of control didn't lie entirely outside of himself...  And man did he take that realization to heart... and he continues to until this day!

Now there are some wonderful things about raising a child who is so strong-willed... I think.  There must be.  Hmmm... I guess that I will have to get back to you on this one.

The point being, if Chephren sees some way/shape/form that he can exert some control over his environment, he takes it.  Since the age of two, food has become one of his primary targets.

To say that his dietary preferences are extremely limited is an understatement.  Does he eat fruits/veggies?  Sure.  About 4 different varieties of them.  Seriously.

Remember this?  Hiding veggies under the couch.

As you may/may not recall... I am a vegetarian.  I prepare/consume around 10-15 different varieties of fruits/vegetables myself... daily.  To say that this behaviour of my son's pushes my buttons is also a very large understatement.

Playing with the contents of my Organic Box :)

Until now, I would have said that I had tried EVERYTHING to sort this thing out...  I have tried to take him shopping with me and choose which fruits/veggies he will eat.  I have found and read him children's books about the importance of healthy eating.  I have downloaded apps on the iPad that relate to healthy eating.  I have modelled (and continued to model) the behaviour that I desire to see instead.  In times of desperation, I have even tried to bribe and/or punish him to get him to eat his vegetables.

I know, I know.  This is an age-old (and first world) problem.

Quite a while back, I had heard about Jessica Seinfeld's approach (hiding pureed fruits/veggies in your child's favourite dishes, including treats) from a friend of mine.  I had considered it then but decided that I didn't want to deceive Chephren.  I wanted him to develop a taste for healthy food that would set the stage for a lifetime of healthy eating.

On the one hand, I tell myself that maybe I should let it go and not worry so much.  After all, at his last yearly check-up, it was confirmed for me that he continues to do very well in terms of his development.  He is (and always has been) in the 95th percentile for height and weight, and is reaching or exceeding all of his developmental milestones.  On the other hand, he is currently battling his FOURTH illness of this nasty cold/flu season.  I have him on multi-vitamins and yet, I have to question if he would be more resilient to illness if he ate better.

Extremely frustrated with this last bout of illness (and currently sleep deprived, so maybe not thinking clearly), I have decided to try the Jessica Seinfeld plan.

The first recipe I tried was one for carrot-cake cupcakes.  In the batch of 12 there was a full 1.5 cups of pureed veggies (I used carrots and sweet potato).  The rest of the recipe was pretty healthy as well, not a lot of fat or sugar.

And you already know what happened.  He ate it... and loved it.

Maybe you are saying, "So what's the problem?"

Well, in my upcoming book FIERCE Integrity: A Course in Living Your Truth, there is a section on the subject of intentional lying.  And that is exactly what this is.

In the book I suggest that people do a self-check in before consciously telling a lie.  I tell them to ask themselves, honestly and with Integrity:

"What is my intention?  Is it to do no harm?"

Obviously my intention here is to do what I feel is in the best interest of my son.

I will let you know how some of the rest of the "experiments" turn out.  (I have already screwed up the sweet potato pancake recipe - they all came out raw in the middle).

Despite the failed pancake attempt, I am celebrating the cupcakes.  For now, I am calling this one a win.

If you have any insights/ideas on this topic, I would love to hear them!

M.

Ok, one more photo... saw this on Facebook and it was too cute not to share:

Truth. A light in the darkness.

I feel like starting this post with "reporting to you from the depths..."  Although it wouldn't be completely accurate.  It would be more accurate to say "reporting to you from the surface..." where I have been waiting... not-so-patiently treading water.  

And, I am getting tired.  

If you haven't figured it out, I am referring to my depression.  Actually, if you are wondering where I have been for the past month, I have been kind of waiting to be on the 'other side' so that I could have started this post with "reporting to you from the other side..."

I am not on the other side.

I am reticent to report to you from this place, and yet, I know that it is what needs doing.  As a yoga teacher, a friend, a daughter, a wife, and even more so; a coach, I have always felt like I needed to deny these dips.  To lay low until they passed.  I have felt like I wasn't "allowed" to feel this way.  

This post is an attempt to undo part (if not all) of that story.  

The truth is, they still happen.  Some last longer than others, and looking back, this one has been around since the beginning of December.  

Sure, I know my triggers.  The darkness of the winter months (I suppose that is called seasonal affective disorder), the bitter cold of the climate in which I live, lack of sleep (last night I had about 4 hours because my son is literally on ROUND 4 of this cold/flu season).  

I have come to know the signs/symptoms of these 'dips'... low energy, extreme irritability (esp. on mornings like this), fits of crying - largely spent on the floor of my closet.  

All of this is/has been true on this go around, and yet one thing is for certain, something has changed.  

Looking back on my life, I can see that I have been suffering with depression for most, if not all, of my adult life.  I would estimate that it actually started in junior high school, although I am not sure exactly.  I have been doing a bit of 'light reading' on the topic lately (even though I have a degree in psychology, I had largely forgotten all that I had learned more than a decade ago).  My actual diagnosis is that of 'Post-partum depression' although I know now that it is more likely to be 'Clinical depression' -- meaning a depression that is due to a biochemical imbalance in the brain and one that continually cycles, year after year.  There is no real 'cure' other than medication and I have been there, done that... hopefully never to return.

And so here I am, riding out yet another 'storm'.  

The funny part is, I now know that these periods, these lows, these dips, aren't even real.  They feel real in a very physical and emotional sense, but they aren't.  Somehow I have managed to separate the truth of my essence (the real me) from this experience.  

What does this mean? (This is the part where I can hear my perceived skepticism bouncing back at me)...

Well, let me describe it to you this way... I used to become these dips, this darkness.  I used to allow it to permeate every single thought, every moment, every cell of my being.  I think that on some level that I was addicted to it.  Addicted to its familiarity, taking some kind of deranged comfort as it enveloped me in its grasp, virtually smothering me.  

I can honestly say it isn't like that any more.  My experience has completely changed.  I am no longer debilitated nearly to the same degree by these dips as I used to be.  In the past two months, I have managed to go to work, feed my family, visit with friends, even LAUGH.  You know, live.  

Now, maybe you are thinking, this girl is delusional... she doesn't look/seem/act depressed AT ALL!  And if you think that, that makes me glad.  Not that I am trying to fool you, or myself.  I am simply trying to allow these dips to flow right through me.  I am trying to be present to them as they pass through my life.  I am trying to view them as 'flowers' being thrown at me rather than 'arrows' being fired (see this Buddhist reference here).  I am trying to receive the gifts that are inherent with any trying times.  

And, its working.

You see, I have a few things going for me now that I didn't have before:

1. I know when I am 'in it' and I no longer deny that I am (to myself anyway, and now apparently to you).

2. When I am in it, I access my resources... and I have many.  

• My husband: God BLESS this man
• My mom and dad: unbelievable in their unconditional love and support of me
• My friends: I am truly Grateful and Grace-filled in their loving presence
• My coach: remarkable, talented and steadfast
• And the odd indulgence... one of which is below.

One of my 'coping strategies' is to envision myself running away.  I think that it is truly representative of my searching outside of myself for what I know lies within (LIGHT), but on the truly dark days, I completely indulge this fantasy.  Yesterday was one of them and here is a light-hearted depiction of one of these fantasies:

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming.  Dealing with what is...

"It is so basic in us to feel that things should go well for us, and that if we start to feel depressed, lonely or inadequate, there's been some kind of mistake or we've lost it.  In reality, when you feel depressed, lonely, betrayed, or any unwanted feelings, this is an important moment on the spiritual path.  This is when real transformation can take place."
~Pema Chodron

If you're still reading, thanks for listening.  I'd love to hear your thoughts.

xoxo

A little bit of sunshine!

The sun is not shining here today.  But is SO doesn't matter.

Watch this and you'll see why...

I am quite possibly the luckiest woman alive, EVER.  Well, in my opinion anyway.

Shout out to 'Mr. Sunshine's dad'... Happy Birthday baby.

MareBare xoxo

When all else fails...

Feeling a bit lost today...
Cure = yoga.  A home practice to be exact.  AND, I have always wanted to do one these videos.

I am so not a techie.  But I figured it out.  And I will only get better.  And I love how I look like I was dipped in silver.  And I love my home practice.

For all of you 'twitterers': #bucketlist, #homepractice, #yoga, #bliss

Forgot the song credit: Everything at Once by Lenka.  Love it.

Living Your Dreams

I have known for a long time that I wanted to work with people.  As a kid, my career ambitions included: Doctor, Teacher, Counselling Psychologist, Hairdresser (the world is grateful that this one didn't work out!) and Marine Biologist - okay, so mostly I wanted to work with people and maybe a few ocean critters on the side.

This wide variety of desired occupations has led me through a veritable mishmash of University courses and varying life experiences.  In fairness, I did explore each of the above avenues (well, except the hairdresser one, and like I said, this is a really good thing!)  I spent a few years in Uni as a pre-med student, eventually graduating with a degree in Psychology, I went back a few years later and did both a B.Ed. and an M.Ed.  And, for the record I did take a course in Marine Biology, but hello, I live on the PRAIRIE which is a loooong way from the ocean!  So, after briefly considering a move out west, I abandoned that ship (pardon the pun).

So... here I am.  I don't currently work in any of those fields.  Not really anyway.  I think that I would have enjoyed working as either a teacher or an educational consultant except for the fact that I got pregnant before I ever got the chance.  I knew that I wanted to be home as much as possible with Chephren, so I have been working part-time from home ever since.

For the past three years, my 'career' has consisted of some consulting on the side, teaching yoga and more recently, facilitating some yoga retreats as part of the Essential Life Series in Nordegg, AB.  All of these experiences have been wonderful, but I knew that something was still missing.

Photo: www.jodygoodwinphotography.com

Of all of the paths that I have been on, I have probably felt the most passionate about Psychology - except that I knew that it wasn't quite the best fit for me.  I value the profession, and all of the people who work in this field, but it just didn't resonate with me 100%.  And why settle for less, right?

In December/January of this past year, I participated in the Receiving Project - facilitated by the brilliant and inspiring Intuitive Coach Jo Anna Rothman.  As part of the Receiving Project, Jo Anna offers participants a free coaching session and without hesitating, I signed up right there and then.

When I had my session with her in February, I went in without knowing what to expect and I was surprised when I spent the whole session with her grilling her about how to get started into the coaching world.  For some reason, I just knew that I had finally found what I was looking for.

Now, 5 months later, I have started my own coaching business.  Want to know what it is all about?  Please take a look at my website.

While you are there, you might want to check out and/or register for the FIERCE Integrity Project.  It is something that I have working on in for the past few months and brings in a lot of the teachings/philosophies that I have been writing about here at MareBare Necessities.

Today, I am one step closer to Living My Dream.  Do you have a dream?  Are you living it?  If not, what's in the way?!

Get out there - today is all we really have for sure!

With my sincerest love and appreciation for your support on this journey,

MareBare xoxo

30 Years... 30 Reasons

I wrote this for my parents wedding 30th anniversary which happens to be today.  Their marriage and their love for each other is truly inspiring and something to be celebrated!

30 Reasons

1. A friendship like yours will endure the test of time.  2. Looking at each other with undying devotion.  3. Enough love  to carry you through even the toughest of times.  4. A sense of resolve  to see things through, even when you don’t know what you are up against.  5. Faith - In each other, in your marriage, in your family.  6. Trust  in each other and you know for certain where you stand.  7.  When you laugh  together, the world becomes a brighter place.  8. Working hard to always forgive, because everyone screws up sometimes. 9. Enough memories to fill your happy home and spill out into the homes of family and friends.  10. A sense of ease with each other, with yourselves.  11. Patience - because we all need to get our buttons pushed once in a while.  12. You could hold up a mountain with the support that you have shown each other.  13.  A sense of knowing that you are exactly where you need to be.  14. Seeing the gifts of each member of your family through the smoke and the mirrors.  15. You will always have dancing in the kitchen!  16. Taking comfort in each others presence, and through shared moments, words and caresses.  17. Understanding - for each other and of each other.  18. Celebrating your sense of fun and adventure, because there has been a lot of both!  19. Similarities - You know what they are.  20. Differences - Knowing that these are just as important to celebrate and embrace.  21. Having empathy for each other and being willing to see the world just a little bit differently.  22.  Finding a blessed source of intimacy in each other’s touch.  23. Cherishing your time  together, because that’s all we really have in this world.  24. You will never run out of things to talk about.  25.  You are an amazing team and together you make miracles happen.  26. Giving - of yourselves to each other.  27. Receiving - Because without this, there is no gift.  28. Bicycles built for two  - How many have there been?  29. Boats built for two  - Your newest addition.  30. HOPE  - For another 30 reasons to come.

I love you two like MAD!!! 

MareBare xoxo

Everyday Conversations: A Dialogue

How many of your day-to-day conversations look like this?

If you said, 'many' or 'lots' or even 'just a few', chances are that you are using the 'same old, same old' social niceties in your conversation starters.  There are many of them... you know the ones: How are you? Crazy weather we're having hey? How about them (insert your local sports team here)?  and my personal favourite of these: What do you do?  

Don’t you just HATE that question?  Well, maybe hate is a strong word, but at the very least, aren’t you tired of it?  It is so predictable, such a boring ‘line’ in our social culture.  The worst part is, it doesn’t really tell you anything ABOUT the person.  I mean, sure, it might tell you how they spend some of their time, okay, maybe a lot of their time, but it sure isn’t very descriptive.  Take this conversation for example:

You: 'Hi’

Them: 'Hi there, nice to meet you’

You: 'You too’

blah, blah, blah (more social niceties until we get to the inevitable...)

You: ‘Oh and WHAT DO YOU DO?’

Them: ‘Oh, I’m an engineer’

You: ‘Uh huh.  My uncle is an engineer. 

(We always do this, don’t we? -- try and identify with what the person is saying by offering something, ANYTHING from our own personal reality). And then, maybe another question... 

You: 'What kind of engineer are you?’

Them: ‘Mechanical’

You: ‘Oh.  That’s nice.  I don’t know what kind of engineer my uncle is.’

You get the idea here right, BORING?!!!

I try soooo hard not to ask that question, at least not until I know all of the really interesting stuff about them first - like what they are passionate about and what gets them all fired up!  Wouldn’t you much rather have a conversation that goes like this:

You: ‘Hi’

Them: ‘Hi there.’

You: ‘So, I’m going to skip all of the social niceties and get right to the good stuff by asking you something totally off the wall... WHAT IS YOUR PASSION?’

 (I like to be up front about it).  

You will probably get some laughter:

‘LOL.  I don’t usually get asked that.  Hmmmm.... let me see.  I am going to have to think about that.’

(Seriously, people are so rarely asked this kind of question you are going to catch them off guard)

And then...

‘You know, I really, really love cats' (with a look of pure joy on their face and a twinkle in their eye)

And even if you don’t love cats (or ATVs or knitting or rock climbing or stamp collecting, or WHATEVER), at least you will be taking part in a conversation filled with excitement and flowing energy -- and that energy is often contagious!  Next thing you know you are off on a tangent of your own about how you are madly in love with your new gardening tools).    

And hey, if either of your passions just so happens to BE your career -- lucky you, and you get to talk about it if that is truly your passion.   Win-win!

As an aside, if ‘what is your passion’ is too fruity of a question for you - here are some other interesting questions to replace the one that you have been ‘trained’ to ask:

• What is the best thing that you have ever done for yourself?
• When was the last time that you belly laughed?
• You got any cool scars?
• What was the last thing you did that really scared you?  How did you feel after?
• You got any funny nicknames?
• If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
• If you could spend the day with a famous dead person who would you choose?

And so, on and so forth.. until you enter into a conversation that looks more like this:

You decide, which conversation would you rather be having?

With much peace and love,

Marebare

One Plus One Equals... Zero?

I teach yoga on Tuesday nights.  It is something that I enjoy doing and it keeps my inner passion for the practice of yoga alive and well.  Now that I have committed to a more regular teaching schedule, I am working towards creating a small community of students, as I build relationships with them one by one.  Prior to teaching at the studio, I taught small classes to family, friends and acquaintances and I found the adjustment to the studio difficult because I felt like I was teaching 'strangers'.  As a yoga teacher, I have found that one of my 'things' is this desire to get to know my students, and my intention for each class is to be of the highest service to each and every person that comes to my class.

Meanwhile, back at 'the ranch' (I guess we shouldn't call our house that any more b/c we have moved off the farm, but I always liked this term and I am keeping it!), Trent is finishing up the bedtime routine with Chephren and then he proceeds with his Tuesday night 'man ritual'.  A little Kijiji, a beer (or two) and the token violent movie on Netflix.  I know this is his routine b/c when I get home after yoga, the computer is still open to the Kijiji page, the beer cans are on the counter, and the violent movie is still playing at full blast.

I abhor violent movies.  I think that I always have, but I few years back I put my foot down and simply REFUSED (yes, REFUSED) to watch anything violent.  I just don't see the point.  Why would I fill up my 'airy fairy, peaceful' psyche with all of that senseless killing?  As for Trent, he has since been missing his blood and gore and I think that on some level he is grateful to have one night of the week to 'fill his cup' with all of the manliness. 

Last week we had a funny conversation when he came to bed after the movie.
M: 'I think it's kind ironic that I am going out into the world teaching yoga, doing my best to increase the positive energy in the Universe and you are sitting at home watching killing shows.'
T: 'Yeah, funny.  It is like we are cancelling each other out in the Universe'...

How is that for some math?

Marebare

What goes around comes around...

When I was a little girl, I was a picky eater.  I always used to think that it was my parents' fault (they were always trying to make me eat HEALTHY, damn them!), but looking back it was clearly me who had the problem.  They would send healthy lunches to school with me: peanut butter and honey sandwiches (way back before peanuts were considered weapons of mass destruction), orange slices, and carrot sticks, only to find them crammed into the back of my desk when they came for parent-teacher interviews.  I would have thrown them in the garbage, but they had the teacher on 'garbage patrol'.  They even got the bus driver involved when I started trying to use the garbage can on the bus.  I was persistent, but so were they.

Finally the day came when I started bringing home an empty lunch box on a regular basis.  My parents, ever suspicious, immediately called the teacher to check in with her but she could find no trace of my lunch remnants anywhere.  It would appear that the lunch problem had been solved!

A few months later, my mom started noticing a funny smell in my room.  Thinking that the carpet had developed mold underneath from the humidifier running, she ripped out the carpets and replaced them with rubber tiles.  That didn't work so she replaced the mattress and all of the bedding, and still, that SMELL!  Desperate (and confused) they decided to take down the wallpaper.  While they were moving the furniture, preparing for this ornerous task they happened upon 'my stash'.  Several weeks (or was it months) worth of lunch leftovers crammed behind the books in my bookshelf.  I may have only been 6 or 7 but damn was I smart, right? 

I am telling you this because today I found this under the couch:

and the day before that it was peanut butter toast underneath the couch, and the day before that it was grapes in the cracks of my leather sofa, and the day before that it was a pile of grated cheese and a muffin underneath his bed. 

Talk about KARMA! 

All of my wonderful traits and quirks and THIS is the one he chooses to emulate?  Great.

Anyone know a cleaning lady who excels at hide and go seek?  (I am only kidding... for now)

Marebare xoxo

To complain or not to complain...

In his writing, Eckhart Tolle defines complaining as 'nonacceptance of what is'.  In other words, you are identifying with a victim mentality in the present moment.  Tolle teaches that rather than bemoan the situation you are faced with, you can choose to leave it, change it or accept it.  Bringing your mind (and thus your body) into a state of acceptance is essentially choosing to bring yourself back into a state of peaceful ease.  See the video below for more on the topic:

Complaining not only brings your own being into a state of discomfort, but it can also 'pollute' the world around you - essentially making your negative inner state contagious to others. 

I recently had an experience that clearly demonstrated this to me:
This past weekend was a busy one here in Stony Plain/Spruce Grove as our community played host to the 2012 Alberta Winter Games.  My brother Jace was offered the exciting opportunity of coaching one of the boys' volleyball teams.  He jumped at the chance and given that the tournament was so close to home, Chephren and I decided to check things out.  One of Jace's games was due to start at 11:15 am on Friday, and wanting to give myself lots of time to get there and park, I left home at 10:30.  I arrived at the the facility (where 5 of the events were taking place) and the parking lot looked pretty full.  The attendants waved me in however, so I began driving around.  This continued for 30 minutes before one of them finally stopped me and told me to head across town for the park and ride.  By this time, it was already 11:20, so I was less than happy about this idea, but I didn't really have much of a choice.  I arrived at the parking lot by 11:30 and we waited another 30 minutes for a bus (they weren't running yet).  Now 90 minutes into our 'adventure', I was starting to get frustrated, especially since I had likely missed most of the game that I was trying to go and see. 

Until this point, I had worked hard at staying patient and calm... for those of you cruising around with young children, you know that this can be even more challenging depending on the mood of your child.  Chephren was less than thrilled about all of the waiting and driving around, and I was working hard in my efforts to keep him and myself calm. 
As the bus was driving up I said (to no one in particular and yet really, it was to everyone waiting alongside me), 'Finally!  I sure hope that I didn't miss the game'.  This seemingly 'innocent' statement was all it took to unleash a sea of complaints/negativity from those around me.  One of the women in the group was so furious that she even chewed out the poor (innocent!) bus driver.

As soon as the words left my mouth and I watched the 'poison spread' I knew what I had done.  It was enough to put me immediately back into a state of ease and acceptance but the damage had already been done.

Going back to Tolle's teachings, I had a choice to make: leave or change the situation (which I absolutely could have done and simply returned home) or accept it.  Unfortunately, on this particular occasion I chose 'd' (none of the above)... not one of my finest moments.

How do you feel about complaining?  Does it serve you?  Have you taken the time to notice its effects on your mind and body?  Or the effect that it has on others?

Food for thought...

Marebare
  

Day 25: Jan 2

Being present - surviving (no, thriving) despite the Lulu Lemon insanity

Forgetting that today was still a statutory holiday (since New Years day fell on a Sunday), Jody and I decided to brave the crowds in the city and go shopping (yes, I freely acknowledge that we are crazy!)  Now, it should be said (as if I haven't said it enough) that shopping is NOT my thing, but hey, it is good to push one's limits once in a while right?  As expected, it was very, very busy at the mall. 

Not my image - but you get the idea!

One of the stops that we had to make was Lulu Lemon -- which is a busy place on an average day so you can just imagine what it was like on a stat.  You could hardly walk in there!  This is normally a situation that would send me running for the hills, but given that Jody lives out of town and it was her only opportunity to get what she wanted there, it was apparent that I needed to keep my cool.  So, I found an inconspicuous spot to stand still and take it all in.  What I found is that by simply being present it allowed me to shift what would have normally been a difficult situation for me into one that was totally manageable... maybe even pleasant. 

Day 26: Jan 3

Chephren pushes our buttons - that's a gift right?

I literally spent most of today wondering where the heck all of my gifts from the Universe were, as a dark cloud descended on the Hasse household.  My son Chephren is a wonderful child, a true gift, but today he woke up with a mission: to make our lives miserable!  Let's just say that our day was pretty much shot when it took us approximately six hours (yes, six) to get him into his pants.  The situation was only made worse for me by the fact that my dear friend Jody's angelic vision of Chephren was shattered into a million pieces before my eyes.  And yet, the situation was entirely perfect... it just took us most of the day to see the gifts that were right in front of us!  You see, I truly believe that when someone pushes your buttons (or stomps on them as the case was for us today), it is an opportunity for healing something within.  By being present and truly aware of what is happening inside of you - and simply identifying why the situation is bothering you so much, you can address whatever 'issue' comes up.  I won't share Jody's healing bits here (we call them onions by the way), but I will say that for me, it fully helped me to address my 'worry what everyone else thinks of my parenting' onion.  By having Chephren act in this way in front of one of my best friends, and to have her still love both of us and want to be around us is a HUGE GIFT!  And that particular onion shrinks down by a few layers...

Day 27: Jan 4

If the weather was like this in Canada all of the time, I would never contemplate moving to a warmer climate!

+ 8 degrees Celsius and sunny, in JANUARY!  ...enough said.

A local media shot from today...

Day 28: Jan 5

Yesterday I drove Jody back to her home in Canmore.  We had a lovely evening poking in the cute little shops and enjoyed a lovely dinner.  I had an amazing sleep last night and after grabbing a quick breakie I started to make the journey home.  The road conditions were unbelievable, making the journey not only safe but enjoyable. 

Day 29: Jan 6

Indian food - Ayurveda

Inspired to cook in my new, beautiful kitchen, I decided to prepare in Indian Feast - Ayurvedic style!  To my surprise, my entire family really appreciated and enjoyed it, despite the fact that there was no meat involved whatsoever :)  I think that they were as surprised by this as I was!

Day 30: Jan 7

Building a yoga community

Now that I am living in town, I feel much more connected to my yoga studio and significantly more willing and able to both teach and attend classes there.  I taught two classes there this morning and have started to really get to know my students and build community.  I feel like building a yoga community is hugely important and I feel grateful at my new-found ability to do so!

Day 31: Jan 8

Best of the Banff Mountain Film Festival

Today my parents, Trent and I attended the 'Best of the Banff: World tour' - something that we have done every January for the past 7 years!  The film festival happens every November in Banff, AB and then they choose the 'Best of the Banff' films, compile them into a 3-4 hour film medley and take it on the road.  It is an absolutely fantastic event that always leaves us humbled and inspired.  This year was no exception - one film in particular touched me deeply - 'Kadoma'.  If you ever have a chance to see this film, I would strongly recommend it!

Day 32: Jan 9

Today is the last day of The Receiving Project (YAY, I actually finished something that I started!) and my gift for today would have to be the project itself.  What an awesome exercise in learning to authentically open myself to receiving -- something that I have always struggled with.  It has had a transformative effect on me -- which I believe will be a lasting change.   Thank you to the creator of this project Jo Anna Rothman - YOU are a gift and an inspiration to many!  May you continue teaching and inspiring others!

Week 2: Days 7-13

Day 7: Brad the Shaman

Yes, I see a Shaman and by the way he is AMAZING!  I had a session with him yesterday at Unique Perceptions in Spruce Grove, which was a real unexpected treat as he had moved away to Victoria this summer.  Due to some unforeseen circumstances, Brad found himself back in the area and I jumped at the chance to see him again.  Each and every time I see Brad a get some powerful insights about my life and about my spiritual evolution and path.  He will often do energy work on me as well as some journeying which I find to be super insightful.  The session also helped me to integrate and make sense of a lot of the experiences that I had in Nordegg.  Thank you Brad for the selfless work you do and for committing your life to one of SERVICE.  I am humbled and grateful.

Day 8: Eoin Finn's Vinyasa Earth Puja & Shane Philip

Back in October, I had committed to a weekend yoga workshop at Lion's Breath Yoga with Eoin Finn.  Then, when I found out that we were moving this month I went back and forth (and back and forth) about the decision to cancel my registration or not to cancel my registration.  After much deliberation, I decided that I needed to go.  And WOW, am I ever glad that I did!  It was a great workshop that ran both Friday night and Saturday during the day.  Friday night (and Day 8 of my project) was especially blissful.  We discussed a 'branch' of yoga philosophy that totally resonated with me and moved, flowed, sweated, meditated and shared energy with one purpose in mind: Puja (or offering) to Mother Earth.  It was magical.  Then, on my long trek home on the dark, winter roads, I CRANKED Shane Philip's EarthShake album and ROCKED OUT!  By the time I got home I was so full of bliss that I literally could not keep it from flowing out of me!  (Not that I would want to hog it all to myself anyway!)  The real gift or lesson here? (apart from these two amazing beings who helped me to make this happen)  Knowing that by filling my OWN cup, I can help to fill the cups of everyone around me!  Thank you Eoin and Shane :)

 










Day 9: My parents

EcoCatLady said it best: "I also think you should consider yourself extremely lucky to have parents that you actually WANT to be near".  Isn't that the TRUTH?  If you have been following along of late, you will know that my parents have made the move off the farm into town.  We now live about a 20 minute drive from each other... and after living next door to them for 6 years I have to say that it feels like an ETERNITY away!  Much too far.  Luckily it is only for a very short time.  We will be about a 2 minute drive away from them in only about a week's time, when we finally make the move into town.  What's so great about them?  Um, EVERYTHING?!  They are our best friends!  They are so much fun to hang out with, they are super loving, accepting and helpful, they treat Chephren as if he was their own child (in a good way!), and make our lives better in every possible way.  Do I know that we are beyond fortunate to enjoy this type of relationship with them?  Absolutely.  Do I say it enough?  No.  So, mom and dad/grammy and grampy: THANK YOU from the botton of my heart and soul.  I love and appreciate you to the moon and BACK! 

Day 10: The PURGE begins

I have discovered something about myself... I actually like to get rid of stuff even more than I like to receive it.  Hmmmm.... Since this is a blog about receiving gifts... do you think that my gift for today can be getting rid of my excess?  How is that for a mind-bending thought?

Day 11: Depression day

For the first time in this project, I had to work hard to see the gift in anything today.  I mentioned in an earlier post that I have been battling with depression for most of my adult life (but especially since having a child) and I still have some 'dark days'.  Today was one of those days.  The gift of this is that it literally only lasted one day... I have such a good handle on what my depression looks like, feels like and where it's going that I can actually take myself out of the downward spiral before it even begins. 
Day 12: You're not going to believe what I did today

Today I feel grateful that it isn't yesterday :)  Is that allowed?  I don't care because it's true.  Aside from the gift of a new day, I received a lot of other gifts today.  This (even to me) sounds a bit odd, given the fact that I was out Christmas shopping and buying gifts for other people instead of the other way around.  I should start off by saying that I don't normally do this (like, pretty much ever).  I generally don't 'do malls', I try not to 'do consumerism' and I prefer it that way.  Normally, I handmake most of my gifts and/or support local farmers/artisans and buy all things handmade and local.  At the very least, I try to stay out of the big shops and buy from all of the little businesses in our town.  Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but my goal is to stick within these parameters.  This year, I didn't totally 'blow it': I bought a lot of my gifts in Maui at local craft fairs, and of course, I stocked up at the local potter's guild when I got home, but I definitely had to buy more 'stuff' than usual to finish off my list.  Soooo, today, on December 20th, that meant going to the mall (sigh).  Rather than beat myself up about it (which is totally like me), I decided to phone up my sister and recruit her to help me.  Not only did she help me, but I actually had FUN (shhhhhhhhhh!  Don't tell anyone!)  She is a great gift-buyer (I skill that has always eluded me) and our trip was purposeful, efficient and actually enjoyable.  (I can't believe that I am confessing all of this on a blog that began as a project designed to AVOID SHOPPING ENTIRELY!  I completely understand if you think that I am a sell out and delete me from your reading lists!)  Before you do though, just read this one last thought: What I am really grateful for is the fact that I CAN do this.  I know how very fortunate I am to be able to go and frivolously/freely purchase gifts for my loved ones without even a care in the world.  This is an insanely huge privilege/luxury (aka GIFT) that I do not take for granted.  Thank you Universe for the tremendous amount of ABUNDANCE in my life and may I continue to find new and creative ways of sharing it with others...

Day 13: The Abundance continues, aka the glass is way MORE than half full

I don't know if I have talked about his before, but I have 8 parents.  (Just think, if I were a reality-tv-show star I would be 'octodaughter', oh man, that was a lame one, this time of year must be getting to me!).  I know, I know, you're thinking, 8 parents?  What the heck is this girl talking about?!  So here it is: My biological mom and dad divorced and both re-married (that's 4)... then, I married a man whose biological parents did the same thing (except for his dad, but 'septodaughter' doesn't sound as cool!).  So, Trent and I both have: A mom, a dad, a stepmom, a stepdad, a mother-in-law, a father-in-law, and I have a step-father-in-law and he has a step-mother-in-law.  Plus, Trent's dad does have a partner so it really does make 8.  You with me so far?  Now... close your eyes and picture this... Christmas with 4 DIFFERENT FAMILIES (and all of their families) EVERY.  SINGLE.  YEAR!!!  Did your brain explode?  Mine nearly does.  For 2 weeks of each year, our lives take on a whole new level of crazy.  Don't get me wrong, I love our families, they are wonderful, kind and generous.  Generous being the key word.  Each gathering involves a huge meal at someone's house (or in my aunt's case - she pays for ALL of us to have a nice meal out together because there are too many of us for one house!), and of course, tons and tons of presents.  We have had several gatherings so far this season, and the 'receiving' is well under way.  Again, this is normally something that I REALLY struggle with but this year, I am deciding to reframe it and simply feel grateful for ALL of the gifts I receive.  Thank you, thank you, thank you Universe for blessing me with more loving family members than I know what to do with (and all of the wonderful craziness that goes with it!)

Days 1-6 of The Receiving Project

Day 1: Music Jam/Drumming session with Chephren

In the midst of a crazy emtional day of moving my parents to their house in town - Chephren and I retreated home for a quick lunch break.  Sensing that I was quickly losing the 'inner stillness' leftover from Maui, tried to bring in some peace via meditation.  Too amped up for meditation (it tends to work best after asana practice), I decided that a chanting/drumming/dancing session was in order.  Chephren seemed to agree as he danced, drummed and sang right along with me.  He even had all of his toys dancing!  The next day, he pointed to his toys (yes, they were still in a pile, hey, we're moving!) and said, "Those are my happy dance toys mom!"  A worthy first gift from the Universe, no?

Day 2: Teaching Yoga - an act of Service

I have been reading the yoga Sutras lately and one of the Sutras jumped at me (I.5); it basically says that we should analyze our thoughts/deeds and try to cultivate only selfless thoughts (and actions).  Well for me, teaching yoga is an act of service, in other words, a selfless act.  To be honest, to date, I haven't totally loved the experience.  But what I realized recently is that I had been teaching from the wrong place - from ego instead of my heart.  I was always worried about/wrapped up in what people would think of the way I taught.  I was always fretting about not being 'good enough' to teach yoga.  Looking back on that way of thinking, it seems like a distant, well-meaning but totally ill-placed train of thought.  I have begun the process of switching from this train of non-productive thought (and really quite selfish way of thinking) to one of selflessness.  I set the intention at the beginning of each of my classes that my words/thoughts/actions will be of the highest service for all of those participating in the class and that each person attending will get exactly what they need from coming.  In other words, I really just want people to get the most out of their yoga practice.  By simply making that switch in my own being, gone are the worries and the anxiety that used to come with every class I taught.  Sound simple?  It really is.  And this shift in thinking is gift number 2 from the Universe.

Day 3: Many hands make light work

If you read my 'Quick Update' post, you will know that both my parents and Trent and I are attempting to move off the farm this month.  Couple this with the fact that we have been gone for the month of November and the house that Trent and I are moving into also needs to be moved out of, and well, you can just imagine the kind of stress/extra workload that we are exposed to on a daily basis.  Anyway, this past Friday and Saturday we focused on helping out my parents and I am pleased to report that they are mostly moved in to their new house.  So, Trent and I decided to spend Sunday trying to get ourselves organized for our move as well.  We began at the new house which, as I mentioned also needs to be moved out of first, before any of our moving can take place.  We also have a few details to fix up before moving in as well and eventually, we'll finish the basement but that is another post entirely.  Anyway, between Trent's Dad, his partner, Trent and myself, we managed to get the kitchen almost entirely packed up and cleaned out!  It was a job that I was kind of dreading but turned out to be actually quite satisfying and enjoyable.  Many hands truly do make light work so THANK YOU for the extra help and adding joy to the experience!

Day 4: Nordegg

Got up early Monday morning and drove to Nordegg with Chephren.  The plan was to spend some time with some close friends and soak up some mountain energy.  Chephren was great company for the entire car ride and as soon as those mountains were in view we both knew that we had come 'home'.  Chephren talked about Nordegg almost daily while we were in Maui and there is no question how drawn he is to the area.  I feel the same way.  Really feeling grateful for this place and the fact that we are building a house there.  Thank you Universe for bringing this tiny little town and community into our lives and hearts!

Day 5: Great Food... Great Friends... Super GRATEFUL

The time spent with my friends was AMAZING.  These women (and you too Chris!) filled my cup so much so that I have a renewed sense of purpose, vigor, inner stillness and peace.  I feel ready for the tasks/challenges that lay ahead as well as the gifts that continue to flow in.  Plus, I didn't even have to cook dinner tonight :)  Thank you all for an amazing day!  (P.S.  I also received a Chakra-clearing set from Ken - so thank you for the very thoughtful and generous gift Ken)

Day 6: Home Sweet Home

As much as I love being in Nordegg (and I greatly look forward to the day when we live there permanently), it is always nice to come home to comfortable surroundings.  The fire in the woodstove, my warm and comfy bed and my wonderful husband.  Today's gift is all about being grateful for what I get to have every. single. day. 

Chephren - also happy to be home!

Stay tuned for more Gifts from the Universe!

Marebare