Post 2 of 6: Dieting is for Dodo Birds.

Yesterday we talked about the word discipline and how we were going to attempt to turn around its bad reputation.

Today I want to talk about the first item on my list:

Be even more disciplined with my food. 

I would love to know how many people wrote down a similar resolution this past New Year's?  You know what I am talking about..."Lose 15, 20, 50 pounds this year"..."Stick to my Paleo diet"..."No more snacks after dinner"...etc.

And if that was you, don't worry, I can relate.  After high school (while recovering from the binging-purging behaviors that come with bulimia), I put on about 50 pounds.  For most of my 20's I weighed a good 20-40 pounds more than I do now.  And I was so unhappy with my body.  If I loathed myself while I was skinny and bulimic, just imagine how I felt about my body when it was "fat".  So for all of you who hold similar beliefs about your body, I can empathize.  (In case you missed it - you can read more on the body image topic here).

Every New Years during that time (and frankly, every other week), I would desperately try to problem-solve my way out of this dilemma.  I tried the SouthBeach diet, the Bloodtype diet, the GI diet, the Body for Life diet, I gave up wheat, I gave up meat, I gave up dairy, I tried weight watchers...nothing worked.  At least, not over the long term.

Now, I need to clarify something here.  There is nothing wrong with any of those eating plans/diets/lifestyles.  Most of them encourage you to eat better, get more exercise, and generally take better care of yourself, which are all good ideas.  

For me, the missing part of the equation, the thing that was guaranteeing my failure each time, was the voice in my head.

You see, each time I embarked on another diet, I did it with this as my mantra, "I am so fat.  If I could just lose x lbs, I would be so much happier".  Hmmmm....do you see the problem here?

Maybe you do (and if so, great), but if not, consider this: our thoughts create our reality.  Meaning, my thought, "I am so fat", was true because I believed it.  I was telling myself that "fact" all day.  And each time I put food in my mouth, I did it from this point of view.  Food was the enemy, food was making me fat.  Woah...talk about giving all of my power away!

Now, if you have done the FIERCE Integrity e-Course, you know how I turned this around.  Actually, it's in my upcoming book too, but I will give you a hint.

In order for my body to change, I had to change my thoughts about it.

The voice had to become more loving, more accepting, more kind.  My relationship with food had to change too.  I had to stop using food as an opportunity to punish, and instead use it as an opportunity to nourish.

Because of this inner work, my self-discipline resolution around food is radically different today than it was back then.

Today, it involves:

1. Eating with more awareness, more reverence, more Gratitude.
2. Being very present when I cook.
3. Being very intentional in planning our meals -- I have been very successful with this one.  I told you about my vegetable mission a la Jessica Seinfeld.  Every Sunday, I spend 1-2 hours planning our meals -- I have been using a program called Plan to Eat and it is amazing!  I puree the veggies we need, make a week's worth of sweet potatoes/whole grain waffles for the freezer (simply pop them in the toaster to re-heat and my son LOVES them!), and basically figure out my life for the week.  Gone are the days when I get home at 530 (or 700!) and wonder what the heck I'm going to make for supper.  The result?  We have less food waste AND we spend less money.

Can you see how planning, cooking and eating would look very different if done in this way?

Can you use food as a means to love yourself more deeply instead of punish yourself more fervently?

Intentional Lying... this is what is has come down to!

I didn't realize that I had been holding my breath...

Holy SH$T!  He went for it!!!  My son, actually ate it.  And liked it.  It felt like a dream come true.  Like I had won the lottery.

*Disclaimer*
You very well might judge me for what you are about to read...

When Chephren was little he would eat everything.  And I mean everything.  He had an insatiable appetite.

Cute little dude, wasn't he?

And then he turned two.  And he discovered that his locus of control didn't lie entirely outside of himself...  And man did he take that realization to heart... and he continues to until this day!

Now there are some wonderful things about raising a child who is so strong-willed... I think.  There must be.  Hmmm... I guess that I will have to get back to you on this one.

The point being, if Chephren sees some way/shape/form that he can exert some control over his environment, he takes it.  Since the age of two, food has become one of his primary targets.

To say that his dietary preferences are extremely limited is an understatement.  Does he eat fruits/veggies?  Sure.  About 4 different varieties of them.  Seriously.

Remember this?  Hiding veggies under the couch.

As you may/may not recall... I am a vegetarian.  I prepare/consume around 10-15 different varieties of fruits/vegetables myself... daily.  To say that this behaviour of my son's pushes my buttons is also a very large understatement.

Playing with the contents of my Organic Box :)

Until now, I would have said that I had tried EVERYTHING to sort this thing out...  I have tried to take him shopping with me and choose which fruits/veggies he will eat.  I have found and read him children's books about the importance of healthy eating.  I have downloaded apps on the iPad that relate to healthy eating.  I have modelled (and continued to model) the behaviour that I desire to see instead.  In times of desperation, I have even tried to bribe and/or punish him to get him to eat his vegetables.

I know, I know.  This is an age-old (and first world) problem.

Quite a while back, I had heard about Jessica Seinfeld's approach (hiding pureed fruits/veggies in your child's favourite dishes, including treats) from a friend of mine.  I had considered it then but decided that I didn't want to deceive Chephren.  I wanted him to develop a taste for healthy food that would set the stage for a lifetime of healthy eating.

On the one hand, I tell myself that maybe I should let it go and not worry so much.  After all, at his last yearly check-up, it was confirmed for me that he continues to do very well in terms of his development.  He is (and always has been) in the 95th percentile for height and weight, and is reaching or exceeding all of his developmental milestones.  On the other hand, he is currently battling his FOURTH illness of this nasty cold/flu season.  I have him on multi-vitamins and yet, I have to question if he would be more resilient to illness if he ate better.

Extremely frustrated with this last bout of illness (and currently sleep deprived, so maybe not thinking clearly), I have decided to try the Jessica Seinfeld plan.

The first recipe I tried was one for carrot-cake cupcakes.  In the batch of 12 there was a full 1.5 cups of pureed veggies (I used carrots and sweet potato).  The rest of the recipe was pretty healthy as well, not a lot of fat or sugar.

And you already know what happened.  He ate it... and loved it.

Maybe you are saying, "So what's the problem?"

Well, in my upcoming book FIERCE Integrity: A Course in Living Your Truth, there is a section on the subject of intentional lying.  And that is exactly what this is.

In the book I suggest that people do a self-check in before consciously telling a lie.  I tell them to ask themselves, honestly and with Integrity:

"What is my intention?  Is it to do no harm?"

Obviously my intention here is to do what I feel is in the best interest of my son.

I will let you know how some of the rest of the "experiments" turn out.  (I have already screwed up the sweet potato pancake recipe - they all came out raw in the middle).

Despite the failed pancake attempt, I am celebrating the cupcakes.  For now, I am calling this one a win.

If you have any insights/ideas on this topic, I would love to hear them!

M.

Ok, one more photo... saw this on Facebook and it was too cute not to share:

The pendulum swings...

People change.  They do.  They DO!  If it seems like I am defending my position on this one it is because I am fully expecting someone to come on here and be all, 'People don't change!', or, 'Once a (blank) always a (blank)'.  Well, I disagree.

As an aside, I was just about to give you the old 'The cells in the human body replace themselves every seven years' line.  Then, I thought maybe I should actually look this 'fact' up before putting my hand on my hip and waving my finger in the air.  Ha!  It turns out that this is a hotly debated topic on the internets (try it, you'll see) and about an hour later I emerged from that wormhole, my brain a hot, hot mess and needing some leftover chocolate cake to help me re-focus.

Ahhhh, chocolate cake.  The whole reason for this post.

I will leave the '7 years' theory alone for now and gently return to my suggestion (and now humble opinion) that people change (a little bit anyway, can we agree on that at least?)

Case in point (finally!):

About 10 years ago, when I moved into my first 'big girl' apartment (condo actually), it was my very favorite thing in the world to have people over for dinner.  Like a lot of people (sometimes up to 20!), in a 900 sq. foot apartment... I would spend the week before planning (many of the dinners had themes), preparing, shopping, and fighting with Trent.  Then I would spend the ENTIRE day cleaning the condo and slaving away in my tiny, tiny kitchen (while Trent hid from me and/or pretended to be busy with something else).  I must admit that on many occasions, I outdid myself.  So much so in fact, that I think that I wrecked it.  I now live in a humongous house (not to brag or anything, but it really is humongous - much, much too big for three people) with the biggest kitchen that you have ever seen.  The counter space!  The cupboard space!  It is a wanna-be-chef's dream!  And, for the most part, I could absolutely care less about entertaining here. 

It's not that I don't like my friends anymore (I do!  I love you guys, I promise!).  It's just that I think I burnt myself out on the whole dinner party thing.  See?  I changed!  Something that I used to be passionate about now makes me want to crawl into my bed and hide under the covers.  It is just so much WORK and EFFORT!  I would so much rather do something outside with my friends, or go out for a meal... or better yet come over to your house for dinner!  (What? I am being honest here)

Anyway, I am way off topic (and I apparently needed to get that off my chest), but we did have friends over for dinner on Saturday.  And yes, I cooked a meal.  It was... average.  Nothing fancy to be sure.  But it was edible, and even followed up by another thing about dinner parties that I hate - dessert.  I don't eat the stuff (well, rarely anyway), but it seems that there is an expectation that people serve/eat that stuff at dinner parties.  Soooo, I mentioned to Trent that I was going to bake a cake.  Here's how that one played out:

M: 'What should I make for dessert?'
T: 'Nothing, we don't eat dessert.  Don't we have some week old cookies or something?'
M: 'Um, I am not serving those... what about if I make a cake.  I would totally eat a chocalate cake with whipped cream and canned cherries.' (Don't ask me what that was all about, I must've been on my period)
T: 'You are the worst baker in the world.  I would strongly suggest that you DO NOT bake a cake.  Just buy a cake mix.'
M: 'Cake mixes are gross, and full of chemicals.'
T: 'Trust me, a cake mix would be way better than anything you would bake.'
M: Silence as I perused my various cookbooks... and then, 'You are totally right.  I hate that about you.'

So there you have it folks.  From a year of 'Marebare Necessities' making everything from scratch right down to my own SHAMPOO all the way to Duncan Hines.

Um, who says people don't change?

Marebare

A lot of randomness...

What do you mean it's March 10th!?  I am really not sure where the past two weeks went, but I do know that my 'timewarp' began with a visit to a Psychic/Healer a few weekends ago...  Since then, I have been so busy processing what went on there that I almost forgot completely about my blog!

Alas, my 'bliss' is starting to slightly wear off (although I maintain that I am forever changed from the experience), and it is time once again to talk about 'earthly' matters.

1. Earth Hour

To me, Earth Hour is a cool reason to sit by candlelight, chat with your friends, eat great snacks and oh, SAVE THE PLANET!  I know it sounds dramatic, but by simply bringing the fact that the planet needs some healing into our consciousness we are indeed beginning to do just that!  So get together some friends and celebrate this great planet (and our HOME)!!!

2. Another depressingly sobering list

I am a big fan of lists... here is one that I came across today thanks to Verge Permaculture...

7 Foods So Unsafe Even Farmers Won't Eat Them:

• Canned Tomatoes - Reason: extra-high BPA content
• Corn-Fed Beef - Reason: Cows aren't even supposed to eat corn - duh! Oh, and by making them do so substantially reduces the nutritional content.
• Microwave Popcorn - Reason: PFOA in the bag... doesn't sound too good does it?  Well, it isn't!
• Potatoes - Reason: LOADED with chemicals.
• Farmed Salmon - Reason: PCB's, DDT and yes, even more chemicals.
• Milk with Artifical Hormones - we've talked about this before...
• Apples - Again, we've talked about this before.

One more little 'Marebare' fact: I have been making the transformation into full-on vegetarianism... Hurrah!  I feel FANTASTIC!  Oh, and in case you were wondering, my husband is less than thrilled.

Thank you SOOOOO much to the three special ladies who played the 'name the plant' game - I love the names that you came up with and my plants do too!

How's that for some randomness squashed together into one post?!

Here's to Spring!
Marebare :)

Livin' La Vida LOCAL

I never thought that I would EVER think of using, referring to, or quoting a Ricky Martin song lyric (gag!), but when I think of Living Local... this silly song persistently pops into my head.  Now if you are stuck with this powerful association too (I hope so... insert evil laugh here), don't fret, it is for a good cause.  My entry today is about a new-to-me program that has been launched in Edmonton called Eat Local First.  For the past few weeks I have been ordering food from this site, including 'The Good Food Box': an assortment of 8-12 fresh, locally produced vegetables that are out-of-this-world amazing!  Eat Local First/The Good Food Box are part of the Live Local Alberta initiative, which encourages Albertans to eat local, shop local and dine local... definitely a program that 'Marebare' can get behind (ahem, see the above statement in my banner). 

I was waiting to promote this program until I had sufficiently sampled the 'goods' and now that I have (we have ordered from there for 3 weeks in a row now), and for what it's worth, I am more than happy to get behind their products.  Of course I took some photos of the 'real thing' so that you could see for yourself:

This week's Good Food Box

 

Is your mouth watering yet?



Now for the downside (yes, of course there is a downside).  This program delivers to Edmonton/Sherwood Park addresses for a small fee, however, given that I live so far from town, I have to take the drive into the city each week to pick up my order.  Don't get me wrong, it is well worth it, however I would really like to get a group together from Stony Plain/Spruce Grove/Parkland County who are all interested in buying some of the goods from this organization (they sell more than just produce).  This way, we could take turns picking up the week's orders and reduce our impact by driving less as a group.  If you are interested and live in this area, PLEASE contact me!  If there is interest, I will set up a group on facebook for us to communicate on...

Finally, one of the things that I LOVE about the Good Food Box (aside from the amazing quality of the produce), is the fact that it forces us to 'think outside the box' (pardon the pun) in terms of cooking.  We are forced to use what we have and so far have come up with some really different and delicious recipes.  Trent and I both love a challenge in the kitchen so it has worked out really well.  (A further incentive for all of you interested in partaking... we could share recipes!)




I know that you're not supposed to play with your food, but I couldn't resist!

Happy shopping/cooking/eating!
Marebare

Days 3 & 4 of No Impact Week

Happy Earth Day everyone!!!  We were joking around at the table last night about my husband and my dad riding the tandem bike into the city today in celebration (the tandem is my husband's nemesis)... I would have made him do it too, but he had to do a work trip in the opposite direction today (how convenient!)  Anyway, what are YOU doing for Earth Day?  Feel free to post your favorite Earth Day celebration acts in my comments for today. 

Again, to avoid redundancy, here are my posts from Days 3 & 4 of the No Impact Week Challenge:


Day 3 - Transportation

This one is a really tough one for me. I live about 20 kilometers from the nearest town, and 60 kms from a major city. While living out in the 'boonies' is wonderful for a lot of earth-friendly activities: composting, gardening, outdoor clothes-drying, playing in the woods/fields etc., it isn't so great for the transportation issue. I do try to bike into town whenever possible, especially on weekends, however now I have a one-year-old as my faithful sidekick. I do own a bike trailer and my son loves to ride in there, but it just isn't safe on the roads out here (80 km/h speedlimit, with no shoulder, and most drivers go WAY faster than that b/c there is very little policing out here). So, it is just not a risk that I am willing to take. Now that it is nice out, when I need to go into town (like today for example), I often throw my bike/bike trailer in the vehicle and take it into town with me. Then, while I am in town, I can use it to ride around and run my errands rather than drive.



That being said, I only go into town about 1-2 days during the week and maybe only once on the weekends, in which we always carpool with my parents (five of us in one car). So, even though our situation is less than ideal, we are cognizant of our carbon footprint with respect to transportation. I have often thought about moving into a center (ideally somewhere in BC), but right now it just doesn't make sense for us... we are enjoying a healthy, communal lifestyle with my parents living next door and I am working from home/mothering from home. So, life is pretty good.


Anyway, that is my take on 'transportation'... I promise, no more trips into town (until Saturday - and then I will be carpooling!)

Day 4 - Food

The food challenge has actually been underway since January for our family. I find that slow, steady changes lead to lasting ones, so we are taking it one day at a time, trying to make good choices for LIFE! Some of the things that we have done so far include: phasing out any/all processed foods (we are almost there!), going meatless at least one day per week, starting a garden indoors this year to extend the growing season, experimenting with lots of new/different (and in season) vegetables, buying organic produce when possible, and making a lot of my own food: bread, crackers, cinnamon buns, soft pretzels, etc. We have also drastically reduced the amount that we eat out or take away food and drink. I have kicked my 'starbucks habit' and I haven't eaten fast food in years, so that really isn't an issue anymore either. All in all, things are going well for us on the 'food front'. My biggest challenge remains to find good on-the-go snacks that my son will actually EAT. I got him hooked on natural fruit bars, but the problem with those is the darned packaging. My first go at fruit leather was kind of a bust, so I am still sorting that one out. Happy Earth Day everyone!

Another thought:

One of our biggest challenges also has to do with where we live: Alberta, Canada. Our growing season is extremely short (from late May-early September) and therefore, out of necessity, the vast majority of our food comes from far, far away. I do drink coffee (organic, fair trade), and I do use a lot of spices in my cooking - however in the case of spices, at least a little tends to go a long ways (pardon the pun).

 

Every day is Earth Day. ~Author Unknown

 

Marebare :)

First picture: not mine but find it here on the web
Second picture: Produce Stand in Chile, taken in 2007