Intentional Lying... this is what is has come down to!

I didn't realize that I had been holding my breath...

Holy SH$T!  He went for it!!!  My son, actually ate it.  And liked it.  It felt like a dream come true.  Like I had won the lottery.

*Disclaimer*
You very well might judge me for what you are about to read...

When Chephren was little he would eat everything.  And I mean everything.  He had an insatiable appetite.

Cute little dude, wasn't he?

And then he turned two.  And he discovered that his locus of control didn't lie entirely outside of himself...  And man did he take that realization to heart... and he continues to until this day!

Now there are some wonderful things about raising a child who is so strong-willed... I think.  There must be.  Hmmm... I guess that I will have to get back to you on this one.

The point being, if Chephren sees some way/shape/form that he can exert some control over his environment, he takes it.  Since the age of two, food has become one of his primary targets.

To say that his dietary preferences are extremely limited is an understatement.  Does he eat fruits/veggies?  Sure.  About 4 different varieties of them.  Seriously.

Remember this?  Hiding veggies under the couch.

As you may/may not recall... I am a vegetarian.  I prepare/consume around 10-15 different varieties of fruits/vegetables myself... daily.  To say that this behaviour of my son's pushes my buttons is also a very large understatement.

Playing with the contents of my Organic Box :)

Until now, I would have said that I had tried EVERYTHING to sort this thing out...  I have tried to take him shopping with me and choose which fruits/veggies he will eat.  I have found and read him children's books about the importance of healthy eating.  I have downloaded apps on the iPad that relate to healthy eating.  I have modelled (and continued to model) the behaviour that I desire to see instead.  In times of desperation, I have even tried to bribe and/or punish him to get him to eat his vegetables.

I know, I know.  This is an age-old (and first world) problem.

Quite a while back, I had heard about Jessica Seinfeld's approach (hiding pureed fruits/veggies in your child's favourite dishes, including treats) from a friend of mine.  I had considered it then but decided that I didn't want to deceive Chephren.  I wanted him to develop a taste for healthy food that would set the stage for a lifetime of healthy eating.

On the one hand, I tell myself that maybe I should let it go and not worry so much.  After all, at his last yearly check-up, it was confirmed for me that he continues to do very well in terms of his development.  He is (and always has been) in the 95th percentile for height and weight, and is reaching or exceeding all of his developmental milestones.  On the other hand, he is currently battling his FOURTH illness of this nasty cold/flu season.  I have him on multi-vitamins and yet, I have to question if he would be more resilient to illness if he ate better.

Extremely frustrated with this last bout of illness (and currently sleep deprived, so maybe not thinking clearly), I have decided to try the Jessica Seinfeld plan.

The first recipe I tried was one for carrot-cake cupcakes.  In the batch of 12 there was a full 1.5 cups of pureed veggies (I used carrots and sweet potato).  The rest of the recipe was pretty healthy as well, not a lot of fat or sugar.

And you already know what happened.  He ate it... and loved it.

Maybe you are saying, "So what's the problem?"

Well, in my upcoming book FIERCE Integrity: A Course in Living Your Truth, there is a section on the subject of intentional lying.  And that is exactly what this is.

In the book I suggest that people do a self-check in before consciously telling a lie.  I tell them to ask themselves, honestly and with Integrity:

"What is my intention?  Is it to do no harm?"

Obviously my intention here is to do what I feel is in the best interest of my son.

I will let you know how some of the rest of the "experiments" turn out.  (I have already screwed up the sweet potato pancake recipe - they all came out raw in the middle).

Despite the failed pancake attempt, I am celebrating the cupcakes.  For now, I am calling this one a win.

If you have any insights/ideas on this topic, I would love to hear them!

M.

Ok, one more photo... saw this on Facebook and it was too cute not to share:

*Just* Another Four-Letter Word

As a very articulate almost-four-year-old, Chephren seems to have a gift for gab (no doubt that he got that from his mother, and yes, it can be a gift to be a talker, ok?)  He has also assigned himself with the distinguished role of 'word police' in our house - meaning that if he catches anyone (and I mean anyone) in earshot using any of his 'forbidden' words, namely the words 'dumb' and 'stupid', he will call you on it until you acknowledge the error of your ways.  He is freaky good at it.  You can be in the next room having what you think is a semi-private conversation and accidentally slip one of those words into your conversation and he will come charging in - making sure that you are brought to justice.  Drop in a few f-bombs however, and he won't even flinch.  Funny stuff, and hey, I said he was articulate, not a rocket scientist.

Another four-year-old characteristic is wanting to know the 'why' of these 'rules'.  In other words, I had better be able to come up with a good reason for why these words aren't allowed.  Fair enough.  I told him that these words aren't really that productive.  They aren't very descriptive.  There are better words out there to help convey your thoughts and feelings than these.  He seemed to think this was a good reason and, satisfied with my answer, we now find ourselves strictly monitored by an almost-four-year old.  I am ok with it.  I know that it won't last forever.

Living with a card-carrying member of the word police has helped me to get even more present with my speech.  If you have read any of the material on FIERCE Integrity, you will know that this is a big deal for me, in fact, it is one of the 'Big 3' sections of the full course (coming out soon, I promise).

This business of 'non-productive words' has gotten me thinking about similar words.  What other words do we use that really aren't productive?  One word that jumps forward when I ask this question is the word 'just', and I am not referring to 'just' as in 'justice'.  I am referring to the word 'just' as in 'I was just calling to' or, 'It was just the one time', or 'It will be ready in just a few weeks'.  When used in this fashion, using the word just is to casually understate the thing that it is describing, and what if that 'thing' is you?

Back in high school, there was a boy who was interested in dating me, let's call him Romeo (basically to ensure that you know I made it up and yes, I am aware that this is a really lame and self-indulgent track that I am taking and no, I don't care).  During this time, this boy would often call my house and ask to speak with me.  If I wasn't home (and I frequently wasn't), he would leave messages either with my parents or on the machine.  The messages varied from day to day, but they inevitably contained the phrase 'It's just Romeo calling'.  Hmmm...  Is it me or can you hear him already dismissing the possibility of me ever phoning him back?

I did phone him back, but we never did end up dating.  Coincidence?  Maybe.  But you can never know for sure.

The point is, words are one of most powerful tools we have access to.  When we speak, we are essentially calling forth the reality that we would like to create.

How present are you with your speech?  Do you use any words thoughtlessly?  What words do you use that are perhaps 'less than' productive?  (Another word that jumps forward here is the word should).

Who gets to be the word police in your life?

MareBare xo

P.S.: Interested in reading another person's take on this 'four-letter word'?  Check out this article that talks about the harm of using the word 'just', especially in business settings.

A little bit of sunshine!

The sun is not shining here today.  But is SO doesn't matter.

Watch this and you'll see why...

I am quite possibly the luckiest woman alive, EVER.  Well, in my opinion anyway.

Shout out to 'Mr. Sunshine's dad'... Happy Birthday baby.

MareBare xoxo