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Wednesday, September 21, 2011

We do it to ourselves...

Welcome to Adulthood!  You will now be faced with a series of extremely difficult and life-altering choices that look something like this:

  • Go to college - don't go to college
  • Get married - don't get married
  • Have kids - don't have kids
  • Have one kid - have more kids
  • Stay at home with the kid(s) - go back to work
Each decision with its own set of pros and cons, benefits and costs and frankly mind-blowing ramifications.  And yet, everyone usually has a strong opinion about each of these very personal choices (the key word here is personal... in case the italics didn't cover it) -- we call that judgement folks, otherwise known as 'should-ing'. 

So when faced with these decisions, they actually look something like this:
  • Go to college - don't go to college (but for heaven's sake MAKE A DECISION and god forbid you should ever change your mind!)
  • Get married - don't get married (AKA, you'd better get married lest you be livin' in SIN, Oh, and if you don't have a partner - WHY NOT?  WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?)
  • Have kids - don't have kids (In other words, you'd better be having them, and if you can't, WHY CAN'T YOU??? So there you are, left with the equally challenging option of fertility treatments - no fertility treatments or adopt - don't adopt)
  • Have one kid - have more kids (Well finally, you had one and WHAT?  You're even considering stopping there?  WHAT THE HELL?)
  • Stay at home with the kid(s) - go back to work (Well, aren't you lucky if this decision is even part of your reality you spoiled BRAT!)
Seem a little harsh?  Maybe, but in the past 14 years, I can honestly say that I have fielded questions in each of these categories and been met with similar responses - either real or perceived.  Yes, you read that correctly, I said real or perceived.  What I am trying to say is that yes, you will be judged by many others for any/all decisions that you make in life.  However, if you can forgive/accept yourself for making those choices (or avoiding them all together) then there won't be a problem.  In other words, be kind to yourself and the rest will follow...

Sounds simple enough, right?  It really is.  So ALLOW, and let go of JUDGEMENT (especially of yourself, but of others too).  And for pete's sake, quit 'should-ing' all over yourself!

Wishing you light and love as you make each of the 'tough' decisions...

Marebare

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