So, there you have it. And yes, I screamed. I screamed at the very top of my lungs... to God... hmmm... I wonder what that means? Who do you scream to when you are scared out of your mind? What do you do when you are faced with a deep/dark fear that you know darn-well is statistically irrational (statistics do not enter into your mind when you are 106 feet in the air by the way).
Today was actually a good day, maybe even a great day. Prior to said 'event', I was wondering what the big deal was about 'conquering one's fear' and why the heck I used to encourage people to do this for a living (yes, for real). It seemed perfectly rational back then, but earlier today, I wasn't having any of it. I mean, really? You want me to do WHAT?
After it was all said and done, I remembered... fear is important. Facing your fear is even more important and conquering your fear? Hell, that is almost as energetically good as winning the lottery. If you can face a 'big' fear in your life, and WIN? Heck, you can do ANYTHING. At least I think so... I am booking a skydiving jump for this fall. Who is coming?
PS: my jumping partner Justin 'killed it' by the way... no screaming. And he even went HEAD FIRST! Guy is a supastar!!! xoxo
Congrats! Glad you are still alive. And self reflective like always. Deanne
ReplyDeleteI am totally impressed! I never could have done it. Seriously, I just don't have it in me.
ReplyDeleteMy one "adrenaline" experience involved having to climb up to the top of a 50 foot pole and then jump. It was part of a ropes course that I had to do for a job I had back in college. They had us on belay wearing a harness, but only a waist one, not over the shoulder, and you weren't supposed to just jump down, you were supposed to jump out and attempt to catch a trapeze. Needless to say, everyone missed the trapeze, but the force of hitting it with their hands and not catching it ended up flipping them upside down so they fell head first.
Did I mention that I am DEATHLY afraid of heights? So... when my turn finally came, with great shaking of limbs I managed somehow to the top of the pole... and promptly froze. Seriously, I was paralyzed with fear. I couldn't climb down, and I sure as hell couldn't jump for the trapeze... especially after seeing all of my co-workers falling head first after missing the thing.
So I just stood there, and after about 10 minutes (which seemed like 10 centuries) I began to sob uncontrollably. They tried to talk me down, but I couldn't move. They tried to goad me into jumping but I just stood there and sobbed. I couldn't even see the damned trapeze I was crying so hard. I seriously thought they were gonna have to get a fire truck out there to rescue me.
Finally after god knows how long I managed to get myself into a seated position. After another 15 minutes or so I finally gathered what little courage I possessed, grabbed the belay rope with both hands to ensure that there was no possible way I could flip upside down, closed my eyes and slid off of the pole.
I still don't know exactly what I think about the whole thing, but it was one of the more humiliating experiences of my life.
You are SO much braver than I could ever be.
So proud of you, knew you'd do it~ Life is a journey...............
ReplyDeleteOh MAN!! I laughed so hard when I watched the video -twice. I want to hear more about what it felt like/was like. I get shivers just thinking about it. I am pretty darn sure that i would let the expiry pass. Just thinking about the gift certificate in my wallet gives me an anxiety attack.
ReplyDeleteWell done Maren!
ReplyDeleteI was surprised to read that you had hesitations with bungee jumping being an avid mountain climber.
But the more I thought about it I realized that jumping off a mountain and climbing one really are two very different experiences! =)
High five for rockin' that jump and a pre-emptive high five for the sky diving!
haha love this!!!
ReplyDeleteIts called living and you are committed 100%. The outcome matters little when you give it your all. Facing your fears and doing it anyway....I think you are courageous. It is a leadership trait.
ReplyDeleteCheers,
Thank you. All of you. This video still makes me smile. Absolutely no regrets. But that does NOT mean I am going again any time soon! I think I'll find fears to tackle from ground level... xo :)
ReplyDelete