The Discomfort Continues: Part II

So yes, the backcountry trip.  With only a five-day turnaround planned between the Vancouver trip and the backpacking trip, I was already uncomfortable and I hadn't even packed!  I had committed to the trip on a last-minute whim when I heard that my good friend Darcie would be joining in on the last half of the 'Mega-hike' - a 9-day backpacking trip planned by my other good friends Mo and Jody (affectionately called MoJo).  First of all, let me just say that to refer to them as my 'good friends' is quite an understatement.  These girls are like my sisters.  Earlier this summer we even named ourselves 'The Four Directions'.  I just couldn't bare the thought of leaving them a direction short... lest they end up walking in circles!  Haha.  I jest, but seriously, it was an opportunity that I felt I couldn't turn down.

I had agreed to the backpacking trip prior to the Vancouver trip, thinking that it would be fine and that I would 'deal with it later'.  When 'later' arrived the voice in my head shook off some of it's new-found inner yin-like peace and gave me a stern talking to.  After all, didn't I have a responsibility to my young son and my husband?  Didn't I have work to do (I did just start a business after all)?  Didn't my mom, dad, and brothers need me?  Oh no!  I would be out of cell range!  What if something happened?  How would I know?  And ON and ON and ON.  Damn voice.  I wish that sometimes it would just leave me ALONE!

I am used to this voice.  We all have it.  Another way to describe it would be to call it the ego.  I would hazard a guess and say that some people's voices are quite a bit more loud and bossy than others.  Not only does the voice in my head possess both of these qualities, but it has a special knack for giving me a million reasons not to do what is really in my heart.  And what was in my heart was that darned backpacking trip with those three beautiful ladies!

My heart is getting smarter though.  It is learning how to manage that voice.  My heart sat that voice down, gave it a sucker, and told it that we didn't have to do anything for sure.  It told that voice that as a collective, mind, body and soul, we would continue to move in the direction of the trip.  Pack the bags, buy the food, plan for childcare etc.  BUT, it we got a single reason to call it quits, and it was VALID, from both the heart and the head standpoint, we would call it.  The voice seemed satisfied, after all, it had it's mouth full with the sucker.

Again, I am jesting here, but this is kind of exactly how it happened.  I didn't know if I was going to be going on the hike for sure until my boots were on, my pack was strapped to my back and I was walking up the trail, holding the space of the 'fourth'.

Of course, you know by now that I went.  I walked.  I talked.  I packed a big old bag for about 60 kms over 4 days.   And like most trips of this nature, it was wonderful and not-so-wonderful at the same time.  I haven't been on a similar trip since back in 2007... pre-CD (Before Chephren Dax :)  and I was pleased to find that all of my 'stuff' was still in working order.  Of course I did make a few 'rookie mistakes'.  Darcie and I hauled in my awesome single-walled four-season tent and I forgot how to set it up.  I also forgot most of the tent pegs (can you say, all but two?!), and one of our four poles was busted.  Don't worry, I redeemed myself by bringing in a huge lightweight tarp for us to use in case of rainy weather.  Oh, did I mention that I forgot to check if it had any guy-wires to set it up?  It didn't.  Oh well.  It made a good sitting cushion while we cooked under Mo's tarp.

If you have never done it before, backpacking can be quite physically uncomfortable, even if you have your gear sorted out and dialled in.  I mean, think about it, you are hauling around a 50+ pound backpack while you are trekking around in the mountains.  You are going to feel it.  And if you are a pro-star and you are claiming to not feel anything, than keep it to yourself.  My ego can't handle it.

Team MoJo hiked about 80 km before they got to us and they looked absolutely shattered from an exceptionally intense Day 5.  They elected to rest up at the hostel before heading back out onto the trail.  I would have ran for the hills after the day that they had, and I was secretly already plotting to move our party to someplace with hot springs, but those girls are Mountain CHAMPS.  Darcie and I were a bit in awe of team MoJo and decided that we were the Mountain Chimps hiking along with the true Champs.

Now that I am out of the backcountry, sitting in my kitchen, cozy in my warm house, I am reminiscing about what a wonderful trip it was.  This is quite odd, because in direct contrast to this thought, I can remember a few times walking on that trail, my back aching, my bad knee flaring, my hands freezing, and I can remember thinking, 'Oh my God.  When is this trip going to be over?  Why did I sign up for this?'  Ok.  Truth.  I am sparing you many of the more 'colorful' thoughts.

And yet, I would do it again.  In a heartbeat.

You know the expression, 'hindsight is 20/20?'  I say it's bollox!  My judgement has been completely clouded over by the wonderful people I was with, the two-hour lunch in the warm sunshine, bathing in the cool, fresh mountain streams, picking and eating fresh huckleberries, the amazing mountain scenery and all of the pictures in which I am wearing a HUGE grin!

Ah life.  So freaking awesome.

Get out there!  It might be uncomfortable, but often, it's SO WORTH IT!

So much love,

MareBare

Getting comfortable with discomfort - Part I

I am back after another brief blogging hiatus.  I have been travelling quite a bit over the past few weeks, my first trip taking me to Vancouver to partake in a 50 hour Yin Yoga workshop with Bernie Clark.  This workshop was transformational.  I know, I know, more about transformation, but as someone who had previously engaged almost exclusively in the world of the more yang-styles of the practice, this workshop absolutely blew my mind!

One of the original 'Yinsters' and a MASTER teacher: Bernie Clark

The theme of the week for me was 'getting comfortable with discomfort'.  Yin yoga is a style of yoga where you perform a relatively few number of postures and hold each of them for a long time.  It is done mostly on the floor and a lot of props are often used to help you stay supported in the pose.  The main idea is to get the muscles to fully relax so that you can exercise the joints and connective tissues of the body.  What does it feel like?  Well, it feels like whatever part of the body you are targeting is in traction!  And if you have never had traction, well, it is kind of like having braces.  If you haven't had either, well you must be perfect and not need yin yoga.  No, I am just kidding.  Yin yoga is for everyone, and for those of you who have never experienced anything like it, the sensation that you are trying to create is a bit of a dull, achy sensation.  In other words, its a bit uncomfortable.

But this is only the physical side of the practice.  This style of yoga also has energetic benefits.  It works to unblock the energy meridians of the body -- the same ones that acupuncture and acupressure work on.  One of the catch phrases in Yin is that we all have 'issues in the tissues'.  This is alluding to the fact that we store emotions in our body as energy and when we unblock these meridians, these emotions come bubbling up again.  This is creates a wonderful opportunity to release this stored energy, which is very good for us, however, it can be quite uncomfortable.

What is more, Yin yoga also has many benefits for the mind.  Given how still you are for most of the practice, it is quite meditative in nature.  Again, this practice is quite rigorous in that it is asking you to quiet the mind amidst the relative chaos that is happening in the body - more about getting comfortable with the discomfort.

Not surprisingly, my need to get in touch with my 'Yin-side' (haha, no pun intended, but it is funny, get it?  In-side?) spilled out into the rest of my trip.  I felt like I was being tested - as if the Universe was saying, 'so you want to be more Yin do you...'  For starters, we had to get up each day at 5:30 in order to get to the sessions on time.  I am not a morning person and I typically to do not enjoy getting up so early.  Okay, that is a HUGE understatement.  Being tired is one sensation that I loathe and waking up after so few hours of sleep (I was staying with two friends and we tended to stay up LATE) would normally send me into a state of complete and utter panic.  This has been the case since I was a young child, and my family learned to steer clear of me in the morning lest they say the wrong thing or look at me the wrong way.  For me, being tired, especially first thing in the morning when my blood sugar is so low, is very uncomfortable.

I would be lying if I said that I woke up each day with a huge grin on my face, but I did manage to keep myself calm, cool, and collected.  My only incidents were on the first day where I nearly threw up as I was signing in at the studio (darn low blood sugar), and nearly knocking myself out as I left the house one morning, but otherwise, I simply took deep breaths into my low belly and rode out the discomfort I was experiencing.  I was surprised at how quickly the discomfort surrendered into ease.

More tests arose throughout the week, needing to sit on the floor for long periods of time, doing a lot of walking in shoes that had no business doing so, sharing a small space with two lovely gals and not getting on each others nerves and more.  In the end, I have to say that it was all much, much easier than I thought it would be.  I had a lot of fears going into the week, many of which turned out to be unfounded.  As I said at the beginning of this post, overall it was a great experience.  I learned a TON of information that I will be integrating in both my classes at the studio and my retreats in Nordegg.

Myself and my two beautiful travelling companions and roommates: Krista and Melanie

As Bernie would say, 'Yin is IN'... and I would have to agree!

Much love,
MareBare xoxo

P.S. If you want to know more about where I took this course: click here:
Semperviva Studios in Vancouver, BC

P.P.S Stay tuned for Part II of this post (coming soon) -- I took my new Yin-self into the backcountry with three beautiful gals!

Evolution

I looked down at myself today, not at my body, but at my 'me-ness'.  I took a long hard look at what it is that makes me who I am.

I am changed.  Life has changed me.  I am no longer the me who I used to be.  Actually, it would be more accurate to say that in fact I am more of me than ever before.  More whole.

I had a chat with a friend today about control.  Needing to control life and the events that come our way.  I hate to break it to you, but control is a complete illusion.  An idea that we have manifested in order to bury our fear.  Our fear of being out of control.  Our fear of being afloat on a sea of chaos.

A lot of the changes that I have made in my life, both unconsciously and consciously, have been to let go of these fears.  To release the illusion that I am in control.  To allow it to be what it needs to be.

It is difficult to put into words how profound of an impact this process has had on my life.  I have been chipping away at this fear-based belief system from which I used to see the world.  Somehow, somewhere along the way, all of these small changes converged, resulting in a big change.  An irreversible change.  Transcendence.  I am no longer the me that I used to be.

How do I know this?  By being brave enough to peer into the mirrors of those around me.  Everyone that you surround yourself with is a reflection of who you are.  When I look around with me honestly and with Integrity, and with an open heart, I can't help myself from grinning like a fool when I think back to how far I have come.

And I love it.  All of it.  This journey through life is truly and utterly amazing.  It is so filled with GRACE.  And there are always more changes ahead, more lessons to learn.  This is what it means to evolve.

Bring it.

Much love from my open heart to yours,

MareBare

2012: Year of the Dragon - We're Halfway!

What a whirlwind the past few months of been.  It has been a time of great change in my life.  A time of great transformation.

On some level, I must have seen this coming.  Back in November 2011, I wrote a post called 'The Winds of Change are Blowing'.  Um, ya think?!  And I didn't even know the half of it back then!  Blow they did and they just keep on blowing!  Actually, somedays I feel as though I am living in a hurricane!  I take great comfort in knowing that at the centre of the hurricane lies a space of calm and peace - the 'eye' of the storm if you will.  I have experienced both elements of this 'storm' over the past 6 months, both the fury and power of living in the vortex and the stillness that lies within its core.

Can you relate?

Back in March of 2010, before any of these changes became so apparent, I wrote a post about 2012 - and the 'End of the World as we Know it'.  I really have to laugh when I look back on my relationship with this concept.  10 years ago, I was gripped with fear about the state of our world and where I felt we were headed.  2 years ago when I wrote this post, I can see that the lightbulb was coming on and my awareness had started shifting away from fear and now today, I am living in that time period that I once feared so deeply.  From the eye of the storm, I am watching the shift that is taking place in all three realms of my consciousness: body, mind and soul. And let me tell you, is it ever cool!  What a gift to be alive in this time of great change on our planet!

So here we are, about halfway through the year 2012, the year of the Dragon (a Water Dragon to be more specific).  Ironically (not really though), in Chinese mythology the Dragon is a symbol of transformation.   There is that word again.  Transformation.  Have you ever sat with that word and fully considered what it means?

To be transformed literally means to change forms.  It is to be FOREVER CHANGED.  In other words, there is no turning back.

This past weekend I was blessed with the tremendous privilege of participating in the Wise Woman Solstice retreat in Nordegg, AB, as part of the Essential Life Series.  Led by (and including) the amazing healer Sarah Salter Kelly, eight women came together to hold sacred space for one another in order to facilitate personal transformation.  True to form, we were blessed by both of the Water Dragon's elements: water and fire to assist us in this process.  And yes, I am forever changed.

This experience helped me to release some things that were no longer serving me, creating space for something new to arise.  It gave me a glimpse of what is next on my journey.  But more than anything, it re-affirmed the importance of simply being me.

Being me in the face of fear.  Being me despite the risk of it being uncomfortable for me or someone else.  Being me because it is simply too much work to try to be anything else.

This is what the FIERCE Integrity Project is all about.  It is about getting at the truth of who you really are, and then deciding moment to moment to live from that place of your truth.  This space of truth is the eye of the storm.  This is the place of peace that exists within all of us.  And in this time of great transformation, the time is now.  The getting is GOOD!  You get to decide if you would like to get caught up in the fury of the storm, or find the centre and hold on.

How are you going to ride out the storm?

Much love to you on this amazing journey,

MareBare

Living Your Dreams

I have known for a long time that I wanted to work with people.  As a kid, my career ambitions included: Doctor, Teacher, Counselling Psychologist, Hairdresser (the world is grateful that this one didn't work out!) and Marine Biologist - okay, so mostly I wanted to work with people and maybe a few ocean critters on the side.

This wide variety of desired occupations has led me through a veritable mishmash of University courses and varying life experiences.  In fairness, I did explore each of the above avenues (well, except the hairdresser one, and like I said, this is a really good thing!)  I spent a few years in Uni as a pre-med student, eventually graduating with a degree in Psychology, I went back a few years later and did both a B.Ed. and an M.Ed.  And, for the record I did take a course in Marine Biology, but hello, I live on the PRAIRIE which is a loooong way from the ocean!  So, after briefly considering a move out west, I abandoned that ship (pardon the pun).

So... here I am.  I don't currently work in any of those fields.  Not really anyway.  I think that I would have enjoyed working as either a teacher or an educational consultant except for the fact that I got pregnant before I ever got the chance.  I knew that I wanted to be home as much as possible with Chephren, so I have been working part-time from home ever since.

For the past three years, my 'career' has consisted of some consulting on the side, teaching yoga and more recently, facilitating some yoga retreats as part of the Essential Life Series in Nordegg, AB.  All of these experiences have been wonderful, but I knew that something was still missing.

Photo: www.jodygoodwinphotography.com

Of all of the paths that I have been on, I have probably felt the most passionate about Psychology - except that I knew that it wasn't quite the best fit for me.  I value the profession, and all of the people who work in this field, but it just didn't resonate with me 100%.  And why settle for less, right?

In December/January of this past year, I participated in the Receiving Project - facilitated by the brilliant and inspiring Intuitive Coach Jo Anna Rothman.  As part of the Receiving Project, Jo Anna offers participants a free coaching session and without hesitating, I signed up right there and then.

When I had my session with her in February, I went in without knowing what to expect and I was surprised when I spent the whole session with her grilling her about how to get started into the coaching world.  For some reason, I just knew that I had finally found what I was looking for.

Now, 5 months later, I have started my own coaching business.  Want to know what it is all about?  Please take a look at my website.

While you are there, you might want to check out and/or register for the FIERCE Integrity Project.  It is something that I have working on in for the past few months and brings in a lot of the teachings/philosophies that I have been writing about here at MareBare Necessities.

Today, I am one step closer to Living My Dream.  Do you have a dream?  Are you living it?  If not, what's in the way?!

Get out there - today is all we really have for sure!

With my sincerest love and appreciation for your support on this journey,

MareBare xoxo

30 Years... 30 Reasons

I wrote this for my parents wedding 30th anniversary which happens to be today.  Their marriage and their love for each other is truly inspiring and something to be celebrated!

30 Reasons

1. A friendship like yours will endure the test of time.  2. Looking at each other with undying devotion.  3. Enough love  to carry you through even the toughest of times.  4. A sense of resolve  to see things through, even when you don’t know what you are up against.  5. Faith - In each other, in your marriage, in your family.  6. Trust  in each other and you know for certain where you stand.  7.  When you laugh  together, the world becomes a brighter place.  8. Working hard to always forgive, because everyone screws up sometimes. 9. Enough memories to fill your happy home and spill out into the homes of family and friends.  10. A sense of ease with each other, with yourselves.  11. Patience - because we all need to get our buttons pushed once in a while.  12. You could hold up a mountain with the support that you have shown each other.  13.  A sense of knowing that you are exactly where you need to be.  14. Seeing the gifts of each member of your family through the smoke and the mirrors.  15. You will always have dancing in the kitchen!  16. Taking comfort in each others presence, and through shared moments, words and caresses.  17. Understanding - for each other and of each other.  18. Celebrating your sense of fun and adventure, because there has been a lot of both!  19. Similarities - You know what they are.  20. Differences - Knowing that these are just as important to celebrate and embrace.  21. Having empathy for each other and being willing to see the world just a little bit differently.  22.  Finding a blessed source of intimacy in each other’s touch.  23. Cherishing your time  together, because that’s all we really have in this world.  24. You will never run out of things to talk about.  25.  You are an amazing team and together you make miracles happen.  26. Giving - of yourselves to each other.  27. Receiving - Because without this, there is no gift.  28. Bicycles built for two  - How many have there been?  29. Boats built for two  - Your newest addition.  30. HOPE  - For another 30 reasons to come.

I love you two like MAD!!! 

MareBare xoxo

The Importance of What ISN'T

Lately, I have taken a bit of an interest in Taoism.  I am not sure exactly how or why this has crept into my consciousness, but it has, so I guess that I will just go with it.

One of the ideas in the Tao Te Ching that really got me thinking is the idea of what is NOT.  In my existence on this planet, thus far anyway, I have focused a lot of my attention, maybe even all of my attention on what IS.  In other words, the tangible, physical objects that make up my day to day reality.

Lao Tzu talks about the clay making up the pot and the materials that make up the house as examples of these physical realities... and I think that we can agree, that these things (in other words, what IS), are important.  But have you ever considered the importance of what IS NOT?  For instance, the space created by the materials that make up the pot -- isn't that space actually what makes it useful and gives it its essence?  Don't we actually live in the space created by the materials that make up our home?  And yet, these spaces are what ISN'T.

If it helps, think about it in terms of yin and yang.  You really can't have one without the other -- you need both to make up the whole.

How many other 'IS NOT's' can you think of?  Probably many... after all, there are essentially an infinite amount of them.  One that I would like to draw your attention to though is the 'IS NOT' of you.  Your body well, that is the 'IS'.  What then, would be the 'IS NOT' of you... that which we could call your essence?

What?  Are you waiting for an answer?  I don't have one for you - but if you sit with it for a bit, you might be able to come up with one on your own.

We pay a lot of attention to what IS in our lives... especially our bodies and our material belongings.  And I am not saying that this isn't valid - of course it is!  However, I am suggesting that what we have been focusing so much of our time/energy on is only HALF of the equation.

Can you expand your thinking to include the other half?

My brain hurts just thinking about this, but hey, that means that I am expanding right?

Marebare xoxo

For your reference, the part of the Tao Te Ching that I am referring to here is Chapter 11:


The Uses of Not


Thirty spokes
meet in the hub.
Where the wheel isn't
is where it's useful.


Hollowed out,
clay makes a pot.
Where the pot's not
is where it's useful.


Cut doors and windows
to make a room.
Where the room isn't
there's room for you.


So the profit in what is
is in the use of what isn't.


(From Lao Tzu: Tao Te Ching ~ An English Version by Ursula K. LeGuin)